- Kirk Gleason: Oh, I can tell you what they're saying.
- Lorelai Gilmore: How?
- Kirk Gleason: I read lips. My girlfriend taught me. It's so we can have quiet time and keep a conversation going at the same time. Okay: she just said "Hardwood sponge is the authority of the hostile biographer." And then he responded, "Just phone cords to original samovars."
- Lorelai Gilmore: Kirk, that doesn't make any sense.
- Kirk Gleason: Must mean they're on to us and they've switched to some sort of code.
- Lorelai Gilmore: I don't think they're speaking in code.
- Kirk Gleason: Oh, I think Luke's heading back, he just got up and said "Feel your taters."
- Lorelai Gilmore: Is it possible he said "I'll see you later?"
- Kirk Gleason: No, I'm pretty sure about this one.
- Lane Kim: [waitressing at Luke's] Kirk, I'm so sorry, we accidentally made the eggs in the fish pan. Here's new eggs.
- Kirk Gleason: I don't know why everybody in this town always thinks I'm crazy.
- Jason: There was a real bad time in my family when we had someone die about once a month. Yeah, for about a year they were dropping like flies.
- Rory Gilmore: And it wasn't my grandmother. It was my great-grandmother. I dropped the "great" to make the whole thing sound sadder. I didn't know anything about her until today. I'm... I'm so sorry. I'm just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.