The Golden Girls (TV Series)

Cheaters (1990)

Betty White: Rose Nylund

Quotes 

• Rose : I had the strangest dream last night. I was at a baseball game. Charlie Brown was pitching, and Schroder was behind the plate, and Lucy and Snoopy were in the outfield, and they wouldn't let me play. When I woke up, I was crying. What do suppose it all means?

  Dorothy : Peanuts envy?

• Glen O'Brien : Our whole block was Irish, the other block was Italian. We used to take turns beating each other up on the way home from school.

  Rose : I think it's nice when kids take turns.

• Rose : Back in St Olaf, there was this shepherd boy who tended his flock on the hill above the town. A wolf kept coming down and stealing his sheep, but the boy never caught him doing it. Because he never saw it happening, he became known around St Olaf as the boy who *didn't* cry "Wolf". Anyway, one day the townspeople heard the boy on the hill yelling, "Wolf, wolf". Well, they all figured, if the boy never cried "Wolf" when the wolf *was* there, if he yelled "Wolf" now, it stood to reason the wolf *wasn't* there.

  Sophia Petrillo : Boy, nothing gets by you people.

  Rose : Damn straight. It was a bear. A huge, ferocious grizzly bear.

  Sophia Petrillo : [impatiently]  What happened to the boy?

  Rose : He became known as the boy who cried continuously.

• Blanche Devereaux : [Blanche and Sophia were conned out of $2,000 by a man, along with a woman posing as a nun]  I just got off the 'phone with a Sgt Delfino of the bunco squad. He said they picked up two people who match the description we gave 'em. They want us to come down tomorrow and pick out nuns from a lineup.

  Rose : That must make you feel proud.

  Blanche Devereaux : Well, now, that's what Sgt Delfino said: "Why, you must feel proud, knowing that by having come forth as you have, you have possibly saved other oldsters from a similar ripoff." He called me an oldster. I called him a pig. We're havin' dinner on Saturday.

• Dorothy : Glen asked me to marry him.

  Blanche Devereaux : Paydirt! Well, are you gonna do it?

  Dorothy : I haven't had time to make up my mind.

  Blanche Devereaux : Honey, don't dawdle. Now, men have a very short memory span when it comes to that question. Sometimes they forget before you can get your clothes back on.

  Rose : [Rose comes in from the living room]  Oh, Dorothy, Glen is such a charmer. He and Sophia are really getting along.

  Blanche Devereaux : Can I tell her? Glen asked Dorothy to marry him.

  Rose : Do it! Oh, marry him, Dorothy. Even if you have to sign one of those pre-natal agreements.