The Golden Girls (TV Series)

Sisters and Other Strangers (1990)

Bea Arthur: Dorothy Zbornak

Quotes 

• Magda : What's to happen? Now that there is freedom in my country my people will read these books and be confused.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : These books represent different ideas. While you're here there are two books I want you to read. The first one is Thomas Paine's Common Sense, I think you'll realize what I'm trying to say. The other is Vanna White's autobiography.

  Magda : Why should I read that?

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : It's just a hell of a book.

• Magda : Now the way it was we knew what to do. When there is one road no one gets lost.

  Rose Nylund : Not so, back in St. Olaf...

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Rose, is this a story about getting lost?

  Rose Nylund : Yes.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Well don't tell us, show us.

• Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : [talking about her favorite doll]  And how did Mrs. Doolittle's hair get singed? Did it herself? I think not!

• Magda : [Stan's cousin from communist Czechoslovakia is visiting]  Such a beautiful home! Who sleeps with government official?

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Oh, that would be my friend, Blanche... And this is my mother, Sophia Petrillo.

  Sophia Petrillo : [skeptical]  So, you're Stan's cousin.

  Magda : Please don't hold it against me.

  Sophia Petrillo : She's OK.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Sit down, sit down. Tell me, where's Stan? Is he parking the car?

  Magda : I take taxi. Stanley and I have disagreement.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Oh, what about?

  Magda : He saw himself as human being, I disagreed.

• Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : I would kill my sister if she ever wrote about my sex life.

  Sophia Petrillo : You would kill your sister over a pamphlet?

• Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : [talking about sisters]  When I was a little girl I had this doll, Mrs. Dolittle, and Gloria was not supposed to touch...

  Sophia Petrillo : Do we have to hear that damn Mrs. Dolittle story again? So your sister broke your doll, it was over 50 years ago.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : It was very traumatic. It was my favorite doll.

  Rose Nylund : I have a sister story...

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : And she didn't just break it, she fixed it so the eyes would never close again. She made Mrs. Doolittle look like a morphine addict!

• Sophia Petrillo : If you need me I'll be in the bitter children of celebrities section.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Don't get lost.

• Rose Nylund : [Stan's communist cousin is making Rose uncomfortable]  This is terrible. I was raised to *hate* communists. I remember in the early '50s, when McCarthy came to St Olaf to speak in the town square. I was never so moved by a public speaker, although some people thought he was a puppet for the Right Wing. No, wait, that was Charlie McCarthy.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : I'd have put money on that.

  Rose Nylund : But still, St Olaf's town motto was, 'Better Ned than Red'. Ned was sort of the town idiot.

  Sophia Petrillo : When, on your days off?