- Rose Nylund: [after watching I Love Lucy reruns all night] I never realized you could have that much fun staying up all night.
- Blanche Devereaux: Oh? Not even with Charlie?
- Rose Nylund: Oh, we never stayed up all night, just 7 to midnight every night, and 5 to 7 every morning, and of course, till noon on Sundays.
- Blanche Devereaux: Lord, no wonder you still mourn that man!
- Rose Nylund: [Regarding 'I Love Lucy', as Dorothy kicks Blanche and Rose out the living room] What about Lucy?
- Blanche Devereaux: We can watch it on the portable in the kitchen.
- Rose Nylund: But that sets in black and white!
- Sophia Petrillo: I never liked that show. Every episode it was the same thing, 'Ricky, why can't I be in the show?' 'Ricky, why can't I be in the show?' Why couldn't she be in the show? Her performances at home were a riot, his acts at the club stank. What's so entertaining about a Cuban beating a drum?
- Rose Nylund: Do you want to watch I Like Lucy with us?
- Blanche Devereaux: I Love Lucy.
- Rose Nylund: I haven't seen it yet so I don't know how I feel about it.
- Blanche Devereaux: Lucy played Lucy.
- Rose Nylund: Then who did Desi play?
- Blanche Devereaux: Desi played Ricky.
- Rose Nylund: Why didn't Desi play Desi?
- Blanche Devereaux: Because he wasn't tall enough.
- Dennis: Mother Dororthy...
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Don't call me Mother Dorothy, I hate it when you call me Mother Dorothy - I feel like I should be handing out rice on the streets of Calcutta.
- Sophia Petrillo: [Dorothy's son-in-law has been unfaithful, and Dorothy's daughter Kate wants to take him back] I'm telling you Dorothy, this isn't your business. Just stay out of it!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: I can't just stay out of it, Ma!
- Sophia Petrillo: Then you'll lose Kate, and someday Stan's going to call you up and tell you you've got a grandchild you're never gonna see.