- Blanche Devereaux: Caroline, you think your daddy has become involved too soon after your poor mother's demise, but, honey, a year is more than respectable. Why, I've had men call me when their wives were in intensive care!
- Sophia Petrillo: Dorothy, do we know anybody named Cecelia?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Your cousin, Ma. She only has weeks to live.
- Sophia Petrillo: Oh. Next time I'll accept the charges.
- Blanche Devereaux: You can tell a lot about a man from the way he drives.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: You know, that's true. Sometimes, Stan couldn't even get the key in the ignition.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Morning, Ma. You sleep well?
- Sophia Petrillo: Naw, I had that recurring nightmare, you know the one where I'm in bed with Warren Beatty, and he says, Sorry, this is too sick even for me.
- Rose Nylund: You're not having company, are you, Blanche? Because I want everything to go smoothly for Miles and Caroline. It's a big step meeting a man's family.
- Blanche Devereaux: [Blanche's scheme is to meet men by telling them she's selling a Mercedes she doesn't have] Don't worry about it, honey, men'll be over, but they'll be in and out all day.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Don't say it, Ma.
- Sophia Petrillo: I have to, Dorothy. At my age, when you don't say it, it can back up on you and come out some other way.
- Blanche Devereaux: [later] My first appointment's here, right on time. I've been out there watchin' him. He's been lookin' at the car and smilin'. I feel just like a fisherman with a new lure.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: You catch 'em, you clean 'em.
- Blanche Devereaux: [James is her first "customer" for the phantom Mercedes, as Blanche goes into action] You stay right there, and I'll get the keys.
- James: How much mileage has she got on her?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [Sophia looks to Dorothy for a comeback to this tempting line] Let's just say that she's been around the block.
- James: [Blanche comes back with the keys, and they go outside] I can't believe anything that beautiful is so cheap.
- Sophia Petrillo: [she covers Sophia's mouth, until Blanche and James are gone] I'm crampin' up!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [Miles and Rose are just returning from their date] How was your evening?
- Miles: Oh, it was terrific, Dorothy. We saw a marvelous production of "The Glass Menagerie".
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Oh, that is one of my favorite plays.
- Rose Nylund: Frankly, I was a little disappointed.
- Miles: Really?
- Rose Nylund: Yeah, when you told me you were taking me to a revival of Tennessee Williams, I was expecting something more along the lines of a séance.
- Rose Nylund: Your father tells me you're a classical musician. What do you play?
- Caroline: The English Horn.
- Rose Nylund: I didn't know horns had nationalities. But I guess it makes sense, if jumping beans can be Mexican, and fire drills can be Chinese, and flies can be Spanish.
- Rose Nylund: [distraught] I tried so hard to impress Caroline.
- Blanche Devereaux: I remember when a woman had to impress a man's *parents*, not his *children*. Oh, Mama Devereaux was fit to be tied when George introduced me. She wanted her boy to marry a *virgin*.
- Rose Nylund: How did she know you weren't?
- Sophia Petrillo: Maybe it was all the 'honk if you had Blanche' bumper stickers.