- Roland Wilson: Man, this is my least favorite time of year. Spring Break. It's the worst. I mean, people drunk everywhere, orgies in the streets, kids runnin' around in togas. It's not even like Miami. It's like Ancient Rome.
- Sophia Petrillo: Ancient Rome was never like that. Sure, every now and then we'd get a bad emperor, but... I'm showing my age, aren't I?