The Goodies (TV Series)

The Stolen Musicians (1971)

Norman Mitchell: Gerald

Quotes 

• The Music Master : [the Goodies have failed to produce a hit record for the Music Master. To his henchmen:]  Take them away. You know what to do.

  Gerald : Oh not, not that boss!

  The Music Master : Yes!

  [Plays a sinister note on his pipe organ] 

  The Music Master : That!

  Bill Oddie : What?

  Tim : They're gonna kill us!

  The Music Master : Oh no! Something far worse! I'm going to lock you in a cell with...

  [plays another sinister note] 

  The Music Master : Rolf Harris!

  Rolf Harris : [a henchman opens a nearby cell door and Rolf Harris can be heard singing]  Tie me kangaroo down, sport. Tie me kangaroo down. Tie me kangaroo down, sport...

  Bill Oddie , Tim , Graeme Garden : [the henchmen begin hustling the Goodies in to the cell]  NO! NO! PLEASE! STOP!

• The Music Master : [the Music Master has kidnapped the Goodies and told them to create a hit song in only an hour. The deadline has just passed]  ... Now, let's see what the Goodies have come up with. They've been very quiet in there, I hope you haven't been too hard on them, Gerald.

  Gerald : They were a bit obstropolous, so I had to deal with them.

  The Music Master : Ah, I see.

  [Gerald opens the door to the Goodies' cell and the Goodies hop in, bound and gagged] 

  The Music Master : Ah, there you are. Have you come up with a hit record?

  [the Goodies mumble and shake their heads] 

  The Music Master : And why not?

  [the Goodies turn around to show that their hands have been tied] 

  The Music Master : Gerald, did you do that?

  Gerald : [Proudly]  Yes, boss!

  The Music Master : Well that really wasn't very fair on them was it? They can hardly be expected to produce a hit record if they can't sing or play instruments, can they?

  Gerald : Oh no, I didn't think of that. 'Cause they made such a 'orrible noise.

  The Music Master : "A 'orrible noise"? That could be the hit we're looking for!