- Lisa Douglas: [plans to order her cosmetics from the Lady Love company] I think they make very good cosmeteticals.
- Eustace Charleton Haney: [pitching his brand] Not according to an independent survey made in a small Midwestern town where half of the women were given Lady Love hand creme to use on their hands and the other half were given my hand creme. And would you believe, in my group there was not a single cavity?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: What has that got to do with...
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [finds Eb with his head stuck in the freezer] Eb, what are you doing?
- Eb Dawson: [his head covered with frost and ice on his head] Freezing a part in my hair.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: What? Get your head out of there you...
- Eb Dawson: You see, what I do is, I give myself a shampoo and then I rush my head into the refrigerator and I'm well groomed all day!
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Yes, well don't...
- Eb Dawson: Unless the sun comes out.