- Lisa Douglas: [reads sign on their house saying "These Premises Condemned"] These promises commended.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [correcting her] Uh, no. Condemned. And who condemned these promises? Uh, er - who commended the premises?
- Eb Dawson: There was a fella here from the Pixley Building Authority. He said this house is too dangerous to live in.
- Lisa Douglas: He's right!
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Is there any mail for me?
- Sam Drucker: [being spiteful] I wouldn't know. I had all of your mail re-routed to the Pixley post office.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Oh, for the love of - !
- Sam Drucker: By the way, don't forget to change your zip code. Pixley's 96344821756.
- Sam Drucker: I'm not - -!
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Hooterville's 3.
- Lisa Douglas: Oh, Oliver, we should have stayed here. They have a lower zipper code.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: [correcting her] Zipper cod. I mean a
- [confused and fumbling]
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: zip - zip
- Sam Drucker: Oh no, zip CODE. We pronounce it different here in Hooterville.