- Henry Finnerty: Oh, hi, Uncle Eddie. How was your trip?
- Eddie Finnerty: Oh, it was fine.
- Henry Finnerty: Did you bring us anything?
- Eddie Finnerty: They really didn't have any of that touristy kind of thing.
- Jimmy Finnerty: You were at Disney World!
- Eddie Finnerty: [Complaining about the changes in the Red Boot Pub after his father's Knights of Hibernia lodge has taken over] The whole place smelled of beef jerky and Rolaids!
- Lily Finnerty: After all, you told me that story about when you were five.
- Claudia Finnerty: I wasn't five! I was nine! And it was that summer we...
- Lily Finnerty: Yeah, yeah. I don't need to hear it all over again!
- Chrissy: [Giving her pageant speech] And that's why we must all spray... Damn it! Spray... *spay* and neuter my cat.
- Sean Finnerty: And the worst part is that Miss Teen Abstinence was swilling back peartinis last week at the Red Boot!
- Claudia Finnerty: How do you know?
- Sean Finnerty: Eddie told me.
- [Having served her himself]
- Claudia Finnerty: Wasn't Eddie out of town last week?
- Sean Finnerty: Oh. Yeah. Reggie told me.