- Faye: I wasn't a lesbian, I was just experimenting! Everyone experiments in college! Right, Claud?
- Claudia Finnerty: [Taken aback] I'm just taking a few classes. And I'm married. And pregnant. But I suppose some of my classmates...
- Claudia Finnerty: [Reading the card on the bouquet] Congratulations, Father Tim!
- [Glares at Sean]
- Sean Finnerty: Babe, he didn't get it from me! He got it directly from God!
- Claudia Finnerty: I'm going to my dad and tell him.
- [That she's pregnant]
- Sean Finnerty: Oh. Uh, babe.
- Claudia Finnerty: You told my dad?
- Sean Finnerty: Well, he called and we didn't have anything to talk about.
- Claudia Finnerty: Why didn't you talk about what an ass you are?
- Sean Finnerty: We always talk about that!
- Eddie Finnerty: What's your problem with Faye?
- Sean Finnerty: She's overbearing. She's pretentious. She's a witch.
- Claudia Finnerty: Sean!
- Sean Finnerty: No, really! She told me the other day, "Watch out, Sean! I'm a witch!"
- Eddie Finnerty: She went through a witch phase in college. Everybody goes through a witch phase in college. Right, Claudia?
- Claudia Finnerty: Again: part time. Married. Pregnant. No witchcraft.
- Dance Squad member: I think it's great that Taya's trying out for the football team!
- Lily Finnerty: Well, maybe it's the feminist in me, but I think she's setting us back 20 years!
- Dance Squad member: How do you get that?
- Lily Finnerty: It's obvious: she makes the football team, then a guy tries out for the Dance Squad. Then we're barefoot and pregnant, watching our husbands dance at the pep rally! Susan B. Anthony did not give up her seat on the bus for that!