- Festus: I swear, the only difference in women is in their size. Some are big, and some are little.
- Letty Cassidy: You don't like women, do you?
- Festus: Sure, I like 'em fine. And I'll tell ya one thing, a drink or two helps out.
- Letty Cassidy: Then let's go to a saloon!
- Matt Dillon: That's the worst part of this job, being a jailer.
- Festus: That's what you get for taking prisoners alive.