[first lines]
Guy Fuddle: Grandma?
The Fuddle Family: Oh, it's you, Guy. What d'you want?
Guy Fuddle: Well... I've been thinking lots about Grandpa lately.
The Fuddle Family: Oh, my dear boy, I do hope so. I too, often think of your Grandfather.
Guy Fuddle: Yes, well... I think we ought to bury him.
The Fuddle Family: What on earth for?
Guy Fuddle: Because he's dead.
The Fuddle Family: No, he's shamming, Guy. He just wants attention.
Guy Fuddle: No, no... he really is dead Grandma. Completely and seriously not alive anymore, and I think we ought to bury him.
The Fuddle Family: I'm an old woman Guy, many things in my life are dead... flowers, love affairs and dear dear friends. I couldn't possibly bury them all!
Guy Fuddle: Yes, but they're not all wedged under the garage door! I can't put my car away.
The Fuddle Family: If you think I'm going to disturb you Grandfather's final resting place for your damn car...
Guy Fuddle: He can't rest wedged under the garage door! Well, it's that, and the cat thinks he's a lavatory.
The Fuddle Family: I promised him that if he should die, he would be left to lie where he fell.
Guy Fuddle: But that was in 1939 Grandma!
The Fuddle Family: Oh, Guy... how like your Grandfather you are standing there! So sad and serious. I could almost fancy you. We Fuddle girls have always gone for the same look in a man; that strange far away look that seems to say, 'I'm a half-baked Prat!'
Guy Fuddle: I wish I knew why you hated me so much Granny. Is it because... I'm here and the girls are gone? My life was hell... you made me suffer every possible indignity! 'These are my four pretty little granddaughters,' you would say to your friends, '... and that's a total bastard that lives with us called Guy!'