Robin Cook: Self - Guest Presenter

Quotes 

• Robin Cook : Good evening. I'll be hosting tonight's show, unless I have to resign on a point of principle halfway through.

• Robin Cook : With Ian Hislop is a man who travels to far flung places and upsets the locals - he should have a go at being Foreign Secretary - P.J.O'Rourke.

• Robin Cook : [describing Paul's guest]  A doctor responsible for more smears then the Daily Mail - Dr. Phil Hammond.

• [after a clip of Robert Kilroy-Silk explaining the rules of Share or Shaft] 

  Robin Cook : Unfortunately, Robert, when you asked your party to share, they decided to shaft.

• Robin Cook : I've already been mistaken for Claire Short, I don't want to be mistaken for a Millwall fan.

• Robin Cook : I've already been mistaken on this show for a satanist. I don't want to be mistaken for a Milwall fan.

• [a Royal Navy Technician has been given permission to become a Satanist] 

  Robin Cook : His mother said 'He doesn't have an evil bone in his body.' No, he has them in a bloody biscuit tin under his bunk.

• Robin Cook : [during a discussion about the Battle of Balaclava]  We *did* have the French on our side then.

  P.J. O'Rourke : We had them on our side in World War II, and a fat lot of good it did us.

• Robin Cook : [on guest publication "The Tightwad Gazette"]  It costs £1.50, or you could get somebody to photocopy it for you.

• Robin Cook : [on Tommy Cooper]  Tommy used to pour gin on his breakfast cereal. Yes, he was a fan of Gordon's, but, then, aren't we all.

• Robin Cook : [a large amount of explosives have vanished from an army base in Iraq]  A spokesman stated, "We want to make sure we get to the bottom of this." Although, given their previous record in this area, I'm not holding my breath.