- Hogan helps Klink prepare for a hasty trip to Argentina when he finds himself in a duel.
- An agent has the names of those Germans who are plotting to kill Hitler, and Hogan tries to get them out of the country using Klink as an intermediary. The agent convinces Klink that she is falling for him, but her husband (Carter in disguise) shows up and challenges him to a saber duel, so she gets Klink a ticket to Argentina.
- At the start, Hogan, Carter, Newkirk, and Kinchloe are in the barracks engaged in small talk with Schultz. Schultz tells them that Klink should be married. Hogan tries to get Schultz to leave; Schultz keeps telling stories. Newkirk signs to Hogan that it is time for something to happen, so Hogan tries to get Schultz to leave again. Schultz asks what is going on, and Hogan says that they are expecting company, a woman. Schultz does not believe him. Hogan tells Schultz that he can't afford to get in trouble because he is a married man. There is a knock on the bunk/tunnel entrance, and a woman appears. Schultz leaves saying 'I hear nothing'. Erika Weidler, an agent, comes up through the tunnel. She has a list of men who plan to kill Hitler, and wants Hogan to get it out of the country without it getting into the wrong hands.
Erika says that the list is in her head in code. Newkirk asks what is so important about the list, if someone kills Hitler, we don't need to know who they are. Hogan responds that if and when it happens, Germany will sue for peace and we need to make sure that we are dealing with the right people. LeBeau offers to do it himself; he knows the route out. Hogan declines the offer. Hogan asks Erika to take it to England herself, but she thinks it is too dangerous. Carter suggests stealing a buzz bomb and sending it to England that way.
Hogan tells Kinch to make up a phony paper, regarding Klink being an efficient Kommandant; he then tells Newkirk to make an envelope postmarked Berlin, dated yesterday, with a note from an admirer, Erika, with a scented envelope. He then tells Erika to write down a letter that he is going to dictate.
Hogan goes to Klink's office with the phony paper; the paper is in German with Klink's picture on page 3 (with the monocle in the wrong eye). He makes sure that Klink sees it. As Klink is reading it, Hogan also sneaks a letter on his desk from Erika Weidler, an admirer who has seen the article. She is coming to Hammelburg, and wants to meet Klink. Klink wants to meet her at the hotel. Hogan convinces Klink to send a staff car to get her, and entertain her in his quarters. Hogan says that he will be there, in case she is a dog; if not, then he will disappear. Klink asks Hogan what the chance of her being a dog is, and Hogan waves the perfumed envelope under Klink's nose.
That evening, Erika comes to Klink's quarters, with Klink and Hogan there. Klnk is wearing a smoking jacket and his cap. After Erika says that she is feeling warm, Klink takes Erika's wrap, gives it to Hogan, and tells him to wait in the kitchen. Klink still has his cap on to hide his bald spot. They talk for a while, Erika saying how much she admires Klink. Erika wants to see Klink without his cap, and tells him that she hates hair, that hair is a false idea of male beauty. Klink takes off his cap, and shows her his large bald spot. She loves it. Klink kisses Erika. Then he goes into the kitchen and tells Hogan to leave. When Hogan and Klink come back out, Erika then tells Klink that she hates him for what he has done to her, and how can she go back to her husband after this. Klink is surprised that she is married. Hogan says that Hitler does not like scandal in the officer corps. Hogan then tells Klink that her husband is General 'Tiger' von Weidler, of the Russian Front, and always carries a saber. He has killed several men in duels.
In the barracks, Carter dresses up as General von Weidler, including the saber. Schultz comes to the barracks, with Hogan, Newkirk, and Kinch there. He asks Hogan to guess what is happening. He asks Hogan, then other prisoners, and then Carter (as von Weidler) with his back turned. When he turns around, Schultz just sees a German general; Carter/von Weidler gets mad at Schultz for gossiping, and hits him with the saber. Schultz gets very scared. Carter/von Weidler then stabs and slashes a few things in the barracks, including chopping down a clothesline.
Next, Hogan and Schultz go to Klink's office, and tell him that General von Weidler came to the barracks first asking for information. Carter/Von Weidler comes in to Klink's office with his saber, and gets mad at Klink for seeing his wife. He calls him 'Casanova Klink'. Erika comes in, and stands between Klink and the general, telling the general to stay away from Klink. Hogan then asks Carter/von Weidler if he is challenging Klink to a duel; Carter/von Weidler wants to use sabers. Hogan says to the general that the challenged gets a choice of weapons. Carter/von Weidler says that is true, but he is a general and Klink is a colonel, so he orders him to choose sabers. Hogan says that he has a point. Carter/von Weidler then gives Klink until dawn (supposedly the duel is the next day), and then leaves.
Later, Erika gives Klink tickets to Argentina, where they can go to escape the war. She also gives him recognition signals and names in code (actually the name list that she wants to get to England). That evening, Hogan and Klink are in Klink's quarters, where Klink finishes packing his suitcase. Klink tells Hogan that he secretly hopes that she doesn't make it. Hogan tells Klink that he will meet Klink after the war - halfway, in the middle of the Caribbean. Klink tells Hogan that he sometimes thinks of Hogan as a 'comrade in arms'. Schultz comes in saying that he brought the staff car, and offers to take the suitcase to the car; Klink wants to do it himself. Schultz asks Klink for his riding crop, and Klink gives it to him. Schultz starts playing with the riding crop; Klink tells him to get the suitcase, but Schultz is still playing with it, so Klink grabs the suitcase himself. Klink then goes to the airport, driving himself in his car alone.
Down in the tunnel, Kinch gets a message that the plane is on time. Then Erika comes in through the tunnel, says she was questioned by the Gestapo, particularly Major Hochstetter. She said that she told them that she was an Abwher agent. It would be hard for the Gestapo to check the story, as the Gestapo and Abwher don't like each other. Hochstetter will tail Klink, and maybe catch him with the coded names; the code will not hold up to the Gestapo. Hogan knows that Hochstetter will catch Klink at the airstrip; he does not want the list to fall in the wrong hands without a fight. Hogan tells the men to put on masks and Abwher uniforms.
Klink is at an airstrip signaling a plane to land. Hochstetter catches him, and asks him what he is doing. Klink says that he is looking for a prisoner. Hochstetter does not believe him, says the prisoner is right here (referring to Klink), and starts to arrest him. Hogan, Newkirk, Kinchloe, Carter, and LeBeau surprise Klink and Hochstetter and a Gestapo guard at the landing strip, wearing masks and dressed as Abwher. Hochstetter tells Hogan/Abwher that he is interfering with the Gestapo. Hogan/Abwher tells Hochstetter that the Gestapo is interfering with the Abwher. Hochstetter wants to know what Klink is doing, and Hogan/Abwher says that Klink knows nothing; Klink is a perfect dupe. He tells Hochstetter that he is interfering with a highly secret project, and gives him a 3 second head start to leave. Hochstetter and his guard leave after the count of 1. Kinch fires a pistol shot into the air, and they start running faster. Hogan tells Kinch to take the papers to the plane, which then takes off with the list but without Klink. Klink says that he was supposed to be on that plane. Hogan/Abwher tells Klink to continue being a dupe, and the men leave, leaving Klink there.
At the end, Hogan comes to Klink's office asking "What happened to Argentina?" Klink looks sad and is miffed at his not being able to go on the plane. Klink asks where is General von Veidler? Hogan tells Klink that General von Weidler was called back to the Russian front, and that the duel is off. Erika has gone back to Berlin. Schultz comes to Klink's office with the riding crop, surprised that Klink is still there, and asks "What happened to Argentina?". Klink gets mad, and takes back the riding crop. Schultz asks "What happened to Argentina?" again. Klink throws Hogan and Schultz out of his office.
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