- Col. Hogan: Excuse me. Are you the woman who lost her Schnauzer?
- Heidi Eberhardt: No, I don't have a Schnauzer, I have a Weimaraner.
- Col. Hogan: Weimaraners are fine dogs. We have two Dachshunds.
- Heidi Eberhardt: Really? What are there names?
- Col. Hogan: Heinz and Fritz.
- Heidi Eberhardt: I'm very happy to meet you.
- Col. Hogan: Hard to believe we're winning the war with that hokey coup.
- Heidi Eberhardt: Is the proprietor also an underground agent?
- Col. Hogan: Mmm-hmm.
- Heidi Eberhardt: Does he have a message for me?
- Col. Hogan: Yes.
- Heidi Eberhardt: What is the message?
- Col. Hogan: [sarcastically] Stop squeezing the tomatoes.
- Heidi Eberhardt: I beg your pardon?
- Col. Hogan: I have a message for you. London wants to know if you can do another job.
- Heidi Eberhardt: That's impossible.
- Col. Hogan: What's the problem?
- Heidi Eberhardt: The Gestapo- they're closing in on me.
- Col. Hogan: What makes you so sure?
- Heidi Eberhardt: There's always a man outside my apartment. I've received a series of mysterious phone calls. And yesterday... I find a small microphone in my dresser drawer.
- Col. Hogan: Guess that would make you a little suspicious.
- Heidi Eberhardt: I don't want to seem dramatic, but I must get out of Germany in the next few days.
- Col. Hogan: It won't be easy. We have a lot of flyers to get out of the country, and a rescue team that's overworked.
- Heidi Eberhardt: In that case, it was nice knowing you.
- Col. Hogan: Don't give up hope. I'll do the best I can. Where can you be reached?
- Heidi Eberhardt: The Hauserhof.
- Col. Hogan: Good. Your contacts will be Heinz and Fritz.
- Heidi Eberhardt: Thank you.
- Newkirk: Ja, ja, Gestapo headquarters, Captain Schnuzle speaking.
- Otto von Krubner: Otto von Krubner here.
- Newkirk: Oh, the world-famous munitions maker who used to have a factory at Rindlesgard?
- LeBeau: Oh, leave him alone Max. Just put it on my bill.
- Sgt. Schultz: How did you know his name was Max?
- LeBeau: I never met a man who owned a fruit store whose name wasn't Max.
- Sgt. Schultz: What's your name?
- Max: Max!
- Col. Klink: I can't let LeBeau go into Hammelburg.
- Col. Hogan: Put him under heavy guard. Send Schultz with him. You haven't got any heavier guard than that.
- Carter: More champagne, Colonel?
- Col. Hogan: No thanks. I'm driving.
- Col. Klink: Hmm?
- Col. Hogan: The escape car.