- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Achtung!
- [no response]
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Achtung!
- Cpl. Peter Newkirk: What did you say, Schultz?
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: I said 'Achtung!'
- Cpl. Peter Newkirk: Oh. Your bid, Kinch.
- Kinch: Two of clubs.
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: When I say 'Achtung' that means that you all are to SNAP to attention.
- Cpl. Peter Newkirk: Oh, is that what it means? Huh! I always thought it meant 'Good morning' or 'Greetings, Mate.' Something like that.
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: No, no. 'Achtung' is a command. When I say 'Achtung' I want you all to come to attention at once.
- Cpl. Louis LeBeau: I wasn't sure what that one meant myself. It always sounded like Schultz was just clearing his throat. So that's a command for attention, huh?
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: That's right! Now that you all know it...
- [Schultz leaves and then re-enters the room]
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Achtung!
- Sgt. Andrew Carter: And a 'Good morning' to you, too, Schultz.
- Kinch: Didn't you hear what Schultz said?
- Sgt. Andrew Carter: Sure. He said 'Achtung' so I said 'Good morning' right back to him.
- Kinch: Achtung doesn't mean 'Good morning.'
- Sgt. Andrew Carter: Well, that's what Newkirk says it means. And who are we gonna believe? One of us or one of them?
- Kinch: He's got a point there.
- Cpl. Louis LeBeau: Yes he does! You'd better brush up on your German, Schultz.
- Cpl. Peter Newkirk: Yeah, don't use words you're not sure of. In future, to avoid confusion, why don't you just say 'Good Morning' in English?
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: Hi Schultz! Just let us all know when it's time for Roll Call, will you?
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Jawohl, Colonel Hogan... But it IS time for Roll Call. That's why I came here in the first place! It's almost PAST time for Roll Call!
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: Well, you'd never make sergeant in OUR Air Force.
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Roll Call! Everybody out, out, out, out, out, out, out! Roll Call! Raus!
- Sgt. Andrew Carter: Hey Thank you! And a 'Good day' to you, too, Schultz.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: [addressing the prisoners] And while I'm on leave Col. Kureger will be in charge of Stalag 13. Now let me leave you with this warning, 'While the cats away the mice better not play'.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: [on holiday at the ski lodge] Well, I'm here to forget all about the war for awhile. I'm sick and tired of fighting and bloodshed. For the next two weeks it's death takes a holiday.
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: They've given us tough assignments before and we've always been able to think of a way to get them done. They probably just assume we gonna do it the same way with this little problem. Well five men can not hold off a division.
- Kinch, Sgt. Andrew Carter, Cpl. Peter Newkirk, Cpl. Louis LeBeau: Right
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: It's ridiculous!
- Kinch, Sgt. Andrew Carter, Cpl. Peter Newkirk, Cpl. Louis LeBeau: Right
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: It just can't be done!
- Kinch, Sgt. Andrew Carter, Cpl. Peter Newkirk, Cpl. Louis LeBeau: Right
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: And here's how we're going to do it...
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: If this keeps up, we won't have any men left to guard the prisoners.
- Colonel Nikolas: At this rate, there won't be any more prisoners left to guard.
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: They want us to keep those SS troops pinned down here for at least two more days.
- Sgt. Andrew Carter: We're supposed to keep 10,000 men pinned down? Did they say how we do that?
- Cpl. Louis LeBeau: There's only one way. We surround them.