- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: But don't let the commandant see the monkey.
- Cpl. Peter Newkirk: Monkey, Schultz? Freddy is a chimpanzee. He's very sensitive about that.
- Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Oh, I'm sorry, Freddy.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: [the men are planting flowers] I was not aware that you were such a nature lover.
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: Mm-hmm, we think it'll, uh it'll go a lot easier for you, sir - you should be prepared.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Prepared for what?
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: For the liberation. When the Allies march in the front gate, it'll go a lot easier for you if you're standing there with a bouquet of pansies.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Hogan, do you realize what General Burkhalter would say if he saw a chimpanzee working in the garden?
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: It's a lot better than if he saw him lying in the sack goldbricking.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Well, I'm grateful that a lion didn't walk into your barracks.
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: Him I would let goldbrick.