- Col. Robert E. Hogan: 'Sugar candy' is code for something special.
- Cpl. Louis LeBeau: Maybe they'll drop us some USO girls.
- Sgt. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe: Could also mean heavy equipment.
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: After two years here, who cares what they look like?
- Cpl. Louis LeBeau: [Talking French to Lt. DuBois]
- Sgt. Schultz: Don't talk in a language no one understands.
- Cpl. Louis LeBeau: I understand it.
- Col. Klink: [Gets sprayed in the face by a broken sink]
- Col. Klink: What do I do now?
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: If I were you, In wouldn't pay his bill.