- A collection of stolen art comes to Stalag 13 and Hogan decides to steal it back for the Allies.
- At the start, Newkirk, LeBeau, and underground agent Lisa are coming into the tree stump. Newkirk hoists Lisa into the hole; LeBeau tries to get Newkirk to do that to him, but Newkirk swats him away. Down in the tunnel, Lisa shows Hogan a picture of an abandoned mine about a mile from camp; the mine has suddenly had recent German activity. Hogan thanks her, and tells Newkirk and LeBeau to take Lisa out through the tunnel/tree stump.
The next scene has a general coming to STALAG 13, 2 motorcycles followed by a truck, followed by the general's staff car. Klink welcomes the general, and takes him to his office. They start to drink schnapps. The general, now known as General Metzger (played by Gavin MacLeod), mentions that the mine will be used for storing weapons and ammunition, that they will be hiding weapons and ammo around the country. He talks with Klink about security arrangements, and tells Klink to put a 24-hour guard on the place. Klink at first says no, because of the manpower situation; Metzger says that he has orders from the Fuhrer. Klink then agrees to do it. Hogan and the men are listening in on the coffee pot/office bug. Hogan says that this is a loser's trick and should be handled by a major or other lower rank than a general. He does not believe what Metzger is saying.
Later, Kinchloe gets a message from London with information on Metzger. Hogan is still suspicious, so he wants to get a look inside the truck. Carter and LeBeau are cleaning Klink's office with Schultz there, and Schultz falls asleep in Klink's chair. He suddenly wakes up and wants to know what Carter is doing mopping the wall near the ceiling. Carter replies that it is leaking. Shortly later, Carter and LeBeau try to bring a ladder into Klink's office, and tell Klink that they are there to fix the roof. There is a discussion between Klink, Carter, and LeBeau whether they should be inside or outside; first in, then out, then in, then out. Carter tells LeBeau to push the ladder, then stop, then push again, then stop. As Carter and LeBeau leave, Klink points to Hitler's picture on the wall and says "What I have to put up with, for you."
Carter and LeBeau take the ladder outside and put it up against the wall, with Carter going onto the roof and LeBeau climbing the ladder. Carter throws a pile of something on the ground, LeBeau slides down the ladder and lets out a fake scream, with both pretending that LeBeau fell off the roof. Hogan tells them to put LeBeau in the truck, but a guard objects. He does not seem to understand English, but tries to understand the word 'emergency'. Newkirk and Kinchloe put LeBeau in the front seat of the truck with Carter as lookout from the roof, and LeBeau moaning like he is injured. The guard comes back, and Newkirk keeps saying 'emergency', with the guard trying to repeat it. Schultz tells the guard (in English) to go away and the guard leaves. LeBeau sneaks into the back of the truck, and opens a box to see what is inside. Hogan tells the men to take LeBeau inside. While LeBeau is in the truck, Schultz comes into the barracks with a stretcher looking for LeBeau, Newkirk is dressed as Lebeau in a bunk moaning, covered in a blanket so Schultz does not recognize him. Hogan sends Schultz out. When Schultz goes out, he sees Carter and LeBeau on the roof working, like nothing happened. Kinchloe gives Schultz a cigarette. Schultz then goes back into the barracks, and sees Hogan and Newkirk sitting at a table; no LeBeau. Schultz is very confused.
Later in the barracks, LeBeau says that the truck is loaded with art, and brings a gold snuff box and an ivory fan to show Hogan and the others. Hogan says that they are worth a lot of money. Hogan says that Metzger is hiding is stolen art for after the war, win, lose, or draw. Hogan says that the top people can get away with publicly stealing art, but lower level generals like Metzger have to hide their loot, otherwise it might be the firing squad. Hogan tells Kinch to get hold of Lisa, and ask for 2 agents that the Germans have never seen.
That night, Metzger leaves in his staff car with the truck, and goes to the mine. His soldiers put the loot in the mine, and leave. Schultz stays to guard the mine. Next we see three C-119 aircraft dropping parachutes, which turn out to be dummies. Klink gets a call, and puts the camp on alert; the dogs are released. An underground agent dressed as a German officer goes to the mine and tells Schultz to fall in; Schultz says that he has orders to stay and guard the mine, but the officer is insistent, so Schultz falls in as ordered. They leave looking for the commandos. Newkirk puts firecrackers on one of the dummies that came down and sets them off, as a distraction. Then an explosion opens the mine doors; Newkirk, Kinch, and LeBeau take the art out and put it into a truck. As they are about to leave, the officer/agent says goodbye to Lisa and kisses her. Newkirk is disappointed, and asks Hogan if they are married, and Hogan replies 'fraid so'.
The next day in Klink's office, Klink is very worried what will happen to him, that he has failed and let the 'commandos' take the ammunition. Klink says that his choice is the firing squad or the hangman's noose. Hogan calls Klink the 'bald eagle of STALAG 13'; Klink corrects him to 'iron eagle'. Metzger then comes to Klink's office while Hogan is there, and is mad at Klink. Hogan suggests that Metzger call the fuhrer about the 'stolen ammunition', knowing that it is art, not ammunition that was stolen. Metzger hesitates and then refuses, and says that there is no need to bother the fuhrer. After Metzger leaves, Klink thinks that he should call the fuhrer anyway, but Hogan talks him out of it.
At the end, Hogan comes out of Klink's office and meets Metzger just outside the door. Metzger tells Hogan that he found about the dummies, and asks Hogan where to find the 'ammunition', implying that Hogan had something to do with stealing back the stolen art. Hogan replies that they will be in a museum after the war. Metzger wants to do an investigation, but Hogan doesn't think so. He tells Metzger that when a thief steals something, that you never want to call the cops.
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content