- Sergeant Schultz impersonates Klink in a scheme to get some of his men free from the Gestapo.
- At the start, Newkirk, Carter, LeBeau, and Kinchloe are in the bushes by some railroad tracks waiting for a train to get to the right spot. Kinch is watching, and says '1, 2, 3'; when he gets to 3, Carter pushed the plunger, and there is a big explosion; the train is destroyed. After some cheering, Newkirk, Kinch, and LeBeau ask Carter which way back to camp. Carter does not know; he is lost. Kinch leaves and says that he will climb a tree to see where they are. Just after he leaves, a German patrol of 4 soldiers (1 a corporal) come up behind the others and take them away. Kinch sees this as he comes back.
Back at camp, Kinch comes up the tunnel alone, looking sad. He says nothing to Hogan and shakes his head. Hogan seems to understand.
In the basement of the Gestapo office in town, Newkirk, LeBeau, and Carter are questioned by a Gestapo officer. Carter has the papers for 'Antonio Cavelli', LeBeau the papers for 'Jock MacPherson', and Newkirk the papers for 'Heinrich Hilgenbecker'. The Gestapo officer does not believe them. He tells them that they could be shot. Newkirk says that they can't do that because they were in uniform. The Gestapo officer says that they will be taken to STALAG 4 before being taken to Berlin for further questioning.
In Klink's office, Hogan is talking to Klink and asks for movies in return for the prisoners performing Work. Klink does not know what to do and wants to call Berlin for further information. Klink then looks out the window and sees the men working; Hogan says that it is a mark of 'good faith'. Klink tries to get Berlin on the phone, but he hears a General Kinchmeyer (actually Kinchloe) on the line. He thinks that the phone lines have been crossed, so he hangs up. After hearing the attempted phone call, Hogan does not look well; he says that it is 'the old ticker'.
The next day at roll call, Schultz counts the prisoners, and there are 3 missing. Schultz wishes that there were 4 missing; him being the fourth. Hogan tells Schultz to report all present; he does so, reluctantly.
Shortly later in the barracks, Hogan explains to Schultz that Newkirk, Carter, and LeBeau were out for a walk and were grabbed by the Gestapo. Hogan says that if Schultz reports it, he could by shot, or sent to the Russian front. Kinch says 'Or both'. Schultz thinks aloud how they could do that, and then says that they could do it. Hogan convinces Schultz to go to STALAG 4 as an officer to get them back. Schultz says no, leaves the barracks, and 10 seconds later, comes back in, saying he will do it. Kinch measures Schultz for a uniform; neck 19, waist 52. Schultz says the other measurements are the same as his waist. Schultz then says that he does not have the courage, and leaves. Hogan asks Kinch how much material is needed for the uniform for Schultz. Kinch says 'How may inches are in an acre?'
Later, outside Klink's office, Klink leaves the office and the guard comes to attention. Schultz is standing out front; Hogan comes up and gives him a cigarette. Kinch then gives Schultz some chocolate bars. Klink sees them give Schultz these things, and comes up to him, asking why he took those things. Klink tells Schultz to put himself on report, takes them from Schultz, and puts them in his coat and leaves. Hogan comes up to Schultz and says that if he gets on report, it becomes a part of his record. When the Gestapo adds information from the boys who were captured, Schultz goes to the Russian front. Essentially, Hogan is blackmailing Schultz.
In the barracks, Hogan is collecting money for a 'widow'. After hearing some of the conversation, Schultz thinks that it is his widow that they are collecting for, so he tries to give the money back.
Shortly later, Schultz comes out of Hogan's office in an officer's uniform. Hogan shows him what to say and how to act, using Kinch acting as the other 'kommandant'. Schultz practices, but gets it wrong. He has more practice, and he drops the monocle, and it shatters. More practice, and Schultz gets meaner. Hogan thinks he comes close.
In the compound, Hogan and Kinch make final plans for the operation. Schultz and Hogan take a truck to STALAG 4 to get the men out. Schultz is dressed as a Colonel, and Hogan as his aide, a captain.
When they get there, they go into Major Bernsdorf's office, the Kommandant of STALAG 4. Bernsdorf says that it is an honor to meet the famous Colonel Klink, and offers refreshments; Schultz drinks some schnapps, but Hogan tells him that time is limited. Schultz has Hogan give Bernsdorf the names of the prisoners he wants. Bernsdorf says that he has no authority to release those prisoners; they are there by orders of the Gestapo. Schultz demands to release the prisoners at once; Bernsdorf denies the request. Just then, there is a phone call from 'General Kinchmeyer' from the Gestapo (actually Kinchloe impersonating a general, sitting at Klink's desk making the phone call). He tells Bernsdorf to release the 3 prisoners. Bernsdorf says that he has no written authorization. 'Kinchmeyer' says release them or suffer the consequences, and hangs up. Bernsdorf has the 3 men brought to outside his office. Schultz says to put them in the truck. Carter says 'Isn't that that terrible Colonel Schultz from STALAG 13?' Hogan says 'No, that is the terrible Colonel Klink from STALAG 13'. Schultz wants to have somebody shot and sent to the Russian front. While Schultz is talking, Hogan says that Sergeant Schultz is waiting; Schultz gets the subtle message that he has to leave. All of them go into the truck. When they get into the truck, LeBeau says that Schultz did a good job at the impersonation. Schultz did not hear him; he has fainted. Hogan drives off back to STALAG 13.
At the end, back at camp, the Gestapo officer is there, inspecting the men at roll call. He says that an officer stating he was Klink came to STALAG 4 and took the prisoners. Klink says that no one in the camp left last night. The Gestapo says that the investigation will continue. After he leaves, Hogan says to Klink that the description he gave fits Schultz. Klink laughs 'Schultz an officer?' and walks off. Hogan suggests that Schultz go on a diet, just in case, Hogan then tells the men to fall out.
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