Home Improvement (TV Series)

'Twas the Flight Before Christmas (1995)

Tim Allen: Tim Taylor

Quotes 

• Al Borland : On the other hand...

  Tim : Al, that's 8 hands. Why not take one of them and slap yourself?

• Tim : Excuse me, can you tell us where the main terminal is?

  The Clerk : Take two giant steps forward.

• The Clerk : Would you gentlemen care for some flight insurance?

  Tim , Al Borland : No!

  The Clerk : Okay, but if your plane crashes, you'll be sorry.

• Jill : Al's mother would put stress on any relationship.

  Tim : Al's mother could put stress on a 20-ton steel beam.

• Woman : [Al's pager goes off]  Excuse me, sir, are you by chance a doctor?

  Tim : He's a mama's boy.

• Tim : What is a clown doing next to baby Jesus?

• Ilene Markham : Al, you are 37 years old, don't you think it's time to cut the cord?

  Al Borland : Cut the cord?

  Tim : Cut the cord? That's the only extension cord I've got to handle those lights.

  Al Borland : This is not about your stupid lights. My relationship with Ilene is hanging in the balance.

  Tim : So the extension cord's okay?