- Al Borland: On the other hand...
- Tim: Al, that's 8 hands. Why not take one of them and slap yourself?
- The Clerk: Would you gentlemen care for some flight insurance?
- Tim, Al Borland: No!
- The Clerk: Okay, but if your plane crashes, you'll be sorry.
- Al Borland: I still don't know what to do about Ilene and my mother. How can I choose between the woman who means more to me than anything... and my girlfriend?
- Jill: [after seeing the boys put up a clown in place of the third wiseman] So the three wise men come bearing gifts of gold, francensense, and a selzer bottle.
- Ilene Markham: Al, you are 37 years old, don't you think it's time to cut the cord?
- Al Borland: Cut the cord?
- Tim: Cut the cord? That's the only extension cord I've got to handle those lights.
- Al Borland: This is not about your stupid lights. My relationship with Ilene is hanging in the balance.
- Tim: So the extension cord's okay?
- Mark Taylor: [all 3 boys at the table looking at the Christmas light trophy] I can't believe we won the lighting contest
- Brad Taylor: And help land Plane
- Randy Taylor: Well it proofs one thing dad been holding us back all these years