"Home Improvement" Clash of the Taylors (TV Episode 1997) - Tim Allen as Tim Taylor

Randy : You're acting like some tyrannical fascist.

Tim : [to Jill] Did he just call me a dinosaur?
Tim : When you get older, you'll understand not everything is so cut and dried!

Randy : I understand that now, Dad. You're taking the company line. You're a sellout. But then to be a sellout, you'd have to have principles to begin with.

Tim : Hey, I not only have principles, but I'm your ride home!

Randy : I'll take public transportation!

Tim : Hey, don't use your fancy words with me. It's called a bus!
Tim : You know my son, Randy?

Bud Harper : Of course I do. How could I forget the little guy? You still on the soccer team?

Randy : No, that's my older brother, Brad.

Bud Harper : Oh, oh, you're the Karate Kid!

Randy : No, that's Mark.

Bud Harper : Oh. Well, what do you do?
Tim : What if he starts protesting leather? Says we can't eat meat. Or what if he starts falling in love with dolphins and says we gotta throw out all our tuna? I'm only saying this once: I love my kids, but I will never, EVER give up my tuna.
Bridget : How come every time I drive by the plant, all that smoke is coming out of the stacks?

Tim , Al : THEY'RE SMOKESTACKS!

Tim : What do you expect to be coming out of there, Hai Karate? Some kind of whipped cream or something? What do you want?
Jill : I was a social activist in high school. I was very involved in the feminist movement. I went to rallies where hundreds of women burned their bras.

Tim : I cheered those women on.

Tim Allen: Tim Taylor