Home Improvement (TV Series)

Dream On (1994)

Tim Allen: Tim Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : Well thank you, Tim! Ilene broke up with me. She took my car and said never wants to see me again.

  Tim : Al, she's coming back.

  Al : How do you know?

  Tim : If she doesn't, it's grand theft auto.

• Jill : How do you think that Al is feeling right now? How do you think Ilene is feeling? How do you think I'm feeling? You told them about my Tarzan dream.

  Tim : Well how do you think *I'M* feeling?

  Jill : What do you have to feel bad about?

  Tim : I don't know. Give me a minute.

• Al : So you're saying that when you make fun of my weight and my beard, it's because you like me?

  Tim : Yeah.

  Al : How about when you tease me about wearing flannel?

  Tim : I do that because you look ridiculous.

• Jill : [Tim, dressed as Tarzan, is swinging outside in the snow]  Tim, it's 15 degrees out there.

  Tim : You Jane, me Fro-zan.

• Al : Last night, something very disturbing happened: Ilene... had a dream.

  Tim : No! Not a dream. While she was sleeping? I don't know, scientists may want to study her.

• Tim : Al, I only make fun of people and joke around with people I like.

  Al : Then you must like me an awful lot.

  Tim : I think of you as one of my brothers.

  Al : You do?

  Tim : Yeah. I used to joke and gag around with them all the time, that's why most of them won't speak to me to this day.

• Tim : You're not the only woman who dreams about me.

  Jill : I don't dream about you, Tim. It's bad enough that I have to see you when I'm awake.

• Wilson Wilson, Jr. : The Koran says "He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh."

  Tim : Those Koreans know what's funny.