- Al Borland: [after Tim has fallen through the ice] I can't believe that you came up here without an change of clothes.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: Well, I didn't intend on falling through the ice, Al.
- Al Borland: Everyone knows that when you come on a trip like this, you have to plan for every possible contingency. And with you, every contingency is possible.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: Well, this "contingency" is your fault.
- Al Borland: Fine. Just lucky that I brought an extra set of clothes.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah, real lucky.
- [stands up and is wearing a red flannel shirt and blue jeans that are too big for him]
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: What is this, one size fits Al?
- Al Borland: [after Tim has fallen through the ice] You know, Tim, I was hoping that on this trip we would be able to bond and talk on a more personal level.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: How much more personal can it get? I'm wearing your underwear.
- Al Borland: What I meant was, talk about our hopes, our fears...
- [pauses as Tim fishes through the pocket of his wet jeans]
- Al Borland: You didn't lose the car keys, did you?
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: [looks to Al] Hope I didn't... but I fear I did.
- [they look towards the hole in the ice; Tim points]
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: Do you wanna go in? I've already been in.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: [while chiseling a hole through ice for ice fishing he accidentally knocks Al's chisel through the ice] Were you real attached to that chisel?
- Al Borland: [realises what's happened] Tim, that-- that chisel's been in my family for *generations*! That was handed down to me by my great-grandfather, Hal Borland!
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: Well, it's not like it was new.
- Al Borland: [Tim is fiddling with the heater] What are you doing?
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: I'm using my know-how to double the heat out of this thing.
- Al Borland: Would that be the same know-how you used to double the size of the hole?
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: [watching a little TV in an ice shanty] The reception's terrible in here. I can't tell whether Gilligan got them off the island or the Pistons are about to score.
- [Tim and Al arrive at Marv's ice fishing shanty]
- Al Borland: [opens the door; excitedly] Oh, this is *great*!
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: [looks around the shanty] This is Marv's idea of a vacation? Remind me not to use his travel agent.
- Al Borland: I think this is paradise on ice!
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: Well, why don't you unpack and I'll putter around here in the living room?
- [unpacks a bag]
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: Got my hot rod magazines... radio... and my own personal TV.
- Al Borland: You brought a TV?
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: You bet. Maybe we can watch Gilligan's Island, see how seven people feel about being stranded in the middle of nowhere.
- Jill Taylor: Did you burn down Marv's shanty?
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: What is it with you? I walk through the door, and you immediately accuse me of burning it down! Why? Why, why?
- Jill Taylor: Tim.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: [shakes his head] Right to the ground. Right... Ashes.
- Jill Taylor: Oh, no.
- [Jill, Ilene and Marie are waxing their legs; Marie dips a piece of bread into a green fondue pot]
- Jill Taylor: Marie, you're dipping the bread in the hot wax!
- [points to a black pot]
- Jill Taylor: *This* is the fondue!