Home Improvement (TV Series)
The Wood, the Bad and the Hungry (1996)
Tim Allen: Tim Taylor
Photos
Quotes
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Tim : [watching "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town"] Sure it's easy to be happy when you're made out of wood.
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Tim : [Tim is fantasizing that he and his family are wooden dolls] Let's not get hung up on how we look. There are more important things to think about during the holidays.
Brad : Like your lighting contest?
Tim : Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm through putting Christmas lights on this house. I'm giving all the holiday lights to the homeless.
Jill : And where exactly are the homeless going to hang them?
Tim : Good point... We'll give them the house too!
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[Tim is dreaming that he and his family are wooden dolls]
Tim : Boys, go get your rooms and put them in the box.
Mark : But where are we going to live?
Tim : You, you, you. You people have got to stop thinking about yourselves.
Jill : Tim, you've changed. You're caring. Giving. You're... loving. And you've got a termite coming out of your ear.
Tim : Have a little compassion. Even the lowliest creature needs a friend.
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Al : [in Tim's dream, he is a wooden doll and Al is a snowman] We have something very special to show you today. Say hello to the new Binford 6100 Toolapalooza. It saws. It sands. It welds. It grinds. It does absolutely everything.
Tim : Not everything, Al. Does it feed the hungry? Does it clothe the naked? Does it heal the sick?
Al : I don't know. I haven't tried all the attachments.
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Jill : I'm so glad our family values are rubbing off on you.
Randy : What do you mean?
Jill : Well your father and I have always taught you that holidays are about sharing and putting other people first.
Tim : [Enters] Honey, look what we got. The last turkey they had. The biggest one. It's all mine, mine, mine!
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Tim : Oh, hey, Benny. I didn't see you.
Benny Baroni : You know, it just occurred to me: Thursday is Thanksgiving.
Tim : Thanksgiving is falling on a Thursday this year?