Home Improvement (TV Series)

The Wood, the Bad and the Hungry (1996)

Richard Karn: Al Borland

Quotes 

• Al : [in Tim's dream, he is a wooden doll and Al is a snowman]  We have something very special to show you today. Say hello to the new Binford 6100 Toolapalooza. It saws. It sands. It welds. It grinds. It does absolutely everything.

  Tim : Not everything, Al. Does it feed the hungry? Does it clothe the naked? Does it heal the sick?

  Al : I don't know. I haven't tried all the attachments.

• Al : I tell you, the holidays come quicker every year.

  Harry : Yeah, I know. I just got over July Fourth and now it's Thanksgiving.

  [Tim enters abruptly, carrying a giant cardboard reindeer head] 

  Harry : Oh, that was fast, now it's Christmas.