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Too Many Cooks
Home Improvement
Edit
Al
: This is my assistant, Tim "Doesn't know Gumbo from Dumbo" Taylor.
Tim
: Sure I do. Dumbo is a pachyderm and Gumbo is a little green guy who rides Pokey.
Al
: You can put just about anything into Gumbo.
Tim
: If we put Al's mom in here, we'd have "Jumbo Gumbo"!
[
Tim and Al are substituting on a cooking show, and Al is showing how to prepare Gumbo
]
Tim
: If you threw Al's mom in there, you'd have Jumbo Gumbo.
[
pause; no one laughs
]
Tim
: Of course you'd have to know Al's mom to get that joke. She's a very large, angry woman.
Al
: Today on "Tool Time", we're going to show you how to make my famous Gumbo.
Tim
: Some of you thought he said, "Dumbo". No, Dumbo is a pachyderm. Gumbo is a green guy who rides Pokey.
Al
: Do you think they call it Cajun cooking because you cook it in a cage?
Tim
: I don't think so, Al.
Randy
: Hey Beth, what do you call bad lemonade?
Beth
: What?
Randy
: Lemon lemonade.
[
Beth, Brad and Jennifer force laughter
]
Randy
: Man, that's the last time I use one of Dad's jokes.
Randy
: Um, Beth, another cooger snookie? Er, booger cookie?
Tim
: [
Al accidentally throws a duck through a window
] You've heard of pheasant under glass? This would be quacker through the glass.
Al
: Now, if you want to go the sophisticated route...
Tim
: You might wanna watch
[
in sophisticated voice
]
Tim
: Masterpiece Tool Time, with your host, Alastaire Borland.
Al
: Would that be an English accent?
Tim
: Automatic door locks, ignition cut off, gas cut off
[
points it at Al
]
Tim
: And not a moment too soon.
Al
: Very funny, Tim. I'm sure our nursery school viewers are rolling in their sandboxes.
[
repeated line
]
Tim
: [
as car alarm
] Back away, flannel man. Back away, flannel man.
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