- Lt. Al Giardello: Never try to hustle a Sicilian.
- Det. John Munch: You tried to hustle Gee at hearts?
- Det. Tim Bayliss: He plays hearts?
- Det. John Munch: The man was a legend back in the day, nobody could beat him. He put one of his kids through college just playing hearts.
- Det. John Munch: [depressed] I hate Christmas because it's a time of year when you're supposed to be happy, and if you're unhappy, you think there's something wrong with you which just makes you even MORE unhappy!
- Fidel McGibney: Why do you wear dark glasses indoors?
- Det. John Munch: I have strange eyes.
- [looks around sadly at all the cheerful photographs of the McGibney Family on the wall]
- Fidel McGibney: I think you're hiding something.
- Det. John Munch: Not me... my soul's an open book.
- Det. Sgt. Kay Howard: I didn't know you could play hearts for money.
- Det. Beau Felton: You can play anything for money.
- Det. John Munch: [missing every ball at the batting cage] Nobody can hit a ball going at a million miles an hour.
- Det. John Munch: To get here, I had to run a virtual gauntlet of Christmas cheer. Bargain-hungry shoppers, mewling kids, carols blasting from diabolically hidden loudspeakers.What kept me going was the thought that once I reached my destination - our sacred inner sanctum - I'd find refuge from this yuletide delirium.
- Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander: All I'm saying is that you are a pessimist, Munch!
- Det. John Munch: A pessimist?
- Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander: Yeah, you're always seeing the worst in everything! You never see anything good, a moment of redemption! You don't believe in anything!
- Det. John Munch: [upon seeing a dead man dressed in a Santa Claus outfit, lying in the snow, covered in blood] Oh no, Rudolph's gonna be pissed.
- Fidel McGibney: [Fidel cries and hugs Munch] My dad's not a deadbeat drunk!
- Det. John Munch: [regretful, knowing that Fidel's dad is gone] I know... I'm sorry.
- [hugs Fidel back]
- Stanley 'The Big Man' Bolander: The only thing beautiful women ever say to you is, 'excuse me, you're blocking the view!'
- Det. John Munch: [annoyed] NOW who's the pessimist?
- Det. John Munch: I don't have a weird face! I'm darkly handsome maybe, but not weird...?
- [looks in the mirror self-consciously]
- Det. John Munch: [a graphic slasher film is playing on TV] You shouldn't be watching that.
- Fidel McGibney: Why not?
- Det. John Munch: Because it's disgusting, that's why! I've seen more violence in the past twenty minutes than I've seen in my whole career as a homicide cop!