- Dr. Weber: [to House, who's in disguise] Who are you?
- Dr. James Wilson: [sotto voice] Just a lunatic who desperately needs a hobby.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: House! You can't do this!
- Dr. Gregory House: Oh, if I had a nickel for everytime I've heard that.
- Dr. Gregory House: I didn't know people actually read e-mails, the delete button is so conveniently located.
- [to Adam's parents]
- Dr. Gregory House: He has a cigarette burn on his wrist. Also a fading nicotine stain between two fingers. Bad news, your son has a filthy, unhealthy habit. Good news, he's trying to quit. Bad news, quitting is killing him. Good news, I can cure him. Bad news... no, that's the end of it.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [goes into House's office] Hey! Did you drop acid?
- Dr. Gregory House: Why would I do that?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: To annoy me or maybe because you're miserable or because you want to self-destruct. Pick one.
- Dr. James Wilson: This guy's name is Weber, not von Lieberman.
- Dr. Gregory House: I call Weber "von Lieberman." Way eviler.
- Dr. James Wilson: You have got to find less debilitating outlets than humilating people. I hear bowling is more fun than stalking.
- Dr. Gregory House: But I'm better at this.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You induced a migraine headache in a coma patient?
- Dr. Gregory House: Gave him a little headache, similar to the one you're giving me now.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Have you even read an ethical guideline?
- Dr. Weber: Do I know you?
- Dr. Gregory House: I know your math skills, they blow.
- Dr. James Wilson: Touche.
- Dr. James Wilson: [to House, who is suffering from a migraine that he deliberately gave himself] Dr. Jekyll, I presume. They found a half-eaten sheep in the zoo, police wanna ask you a few questions...
- Dr. Weber: You cannot test this on an abnormal brain.
- Dr. Gregory House: That's so close-minded. He's not abnormal, he's special.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Did you sign this?
- Dr. Gregory House: Uh, yeah. We can talk later about the appropriate discipline.