- [last lines]
- Dr. James Wilson: You don't like yourself. But you do admire yourself. It's all you've got so you cling to it. You're so afraid if you change, you'll lose what makes you special.
- [pause]
- Dr. James Wilson: Being miserable doesn't make you better than anybody else, House. It just makes you miserable.
- [Wilson and House look at each other. Wilson exits]
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [notices House come in] He's actually on time.
- Dr. James Wilson: He's six minutes early.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Something's happened.
- Dr. James Wilson: I'm on it.
- Dr. Gregory House: Ultrasound her uterus this time. See if there's something growing in there that doesn't look adorable in a onesie.
- Stella: What's wrong with your foot?
- Dr. Gregory House: War wound.
- Stella: Does it hurt?
- Dr. Gregory House: Every day.
- Stella: Is that why you're so sad?
- Dr. Gregory House: Oh, aren't you adorable. I'm not sad, I'm complicated, chicks dig that. One day you'll understand.
- Dr. James Wilson: What the hell happened in Baltimore?
- Dr. Gregory House: Sorry, chief. Never kiss and tell.
- Dr. James Wilson: I think you just did.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Millions of women are on fertility treatments, and they don't get cancer.
- Dr. Gregory House: Right. They get babies. She had a blood clot and a stroke. She'll get another one and probably die if we don't find that tumor. Do an endometrial biopsy.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Biopsy's painful and unnecessary. We just did an ultrasound.
- Dr. Gregory House: [squints and looks at his watch]
- Dr. Eric Foreman: What?
- Dr. Gregory House: Shh.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: If you have a personal issue that's interfering with...
- Dr. Gregory House: [interrupts] Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: What are we waiting for?
- Dr. Gregory House: Your four weeks just expired. Your reign of terror is over. Mine has just begun. Now go stick a needle up her hoo-hoo and find that cancer.
- [goes into his office]
- Dr. Eric Foreman: [shakes his head and smiles]
- Dr. Robert Chase: [looks confused] Hoo-hoo?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: He went to Hopkins.
- Dr. Gregory House: Peeing on a stick is only 99% accurate. Get a real pregnancy test. You know, the one with the blood and the hormones and the rabbit. Oh, I'm sorry. It's still your limo. What do you say, Miss Daisy?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Whatever you want.
- Dr. Gregory House: Lame duck's done quacking.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: You quack, people shoot at you. Cuddy just put me here to make you miserable. Another two days, you can go back to making yourself miserable.
- [after learning Cameron's postponed her HIV test]
- Dr. Gregory House: Cameron, I love you.
- [she opens her mouth in shock; he quickly swabs the inside of her cheek]
- Dr. Gregory House: Get your test results tomorrow.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [talking about Stacy] Here's what I think she's gonna say, "Oh, I love Greg, but if you go against a patient's wishes, you're calling her a liar and if something goes wrong, I end up in court having to defend the big, mean doctor albeit with dreamy eyes who wouldn't believe the nice suburban mom and even though his cane makes me melt, do the damn surgery."
- Dr. Gregory House: Who finished the animal crackers? If you finish something, don't just put back the empty box, throw it out!
- Stacy Warner: What was Greg like after I left?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Uh, an egomaniacal narcissistic pain in the ass. Same as before you left.
- Dr. Gregory House: Foreman, need your help here. You want to pull a bank job, would you go it alone? You're gonna rob a home, sure, it's a one or two man crew, but a bank - lookout, getaway driver...
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I'm not saying anything until the metaphor plays itself out.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Hypervigilance, sudden irritability...
- Dr. Gregory House: Symptomatic of... lunch with Cuddy?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: They're prescribed to her daughter.
- Dr. Gregory House: Mommy does everything for her family nowadays. Even takes their pills.
- Dr. Gregory House: This better be important.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: You've gotta come back in.
- Dr. Gregory House: No, I don't.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Margo's stable, but...
- Dr. Gregory House: Oh my God! I'll be right there!
- [House hands Cameron a sealed envelope, which she assumes is her HIV test results]
- Dr. Gregory House: Knowing is always better than not knowing.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [opens the envelope and reads the letter] It's a referral request.
- Dr. Gregory House: [holds up an open envelope] Right. HIV thing came in earlier. You're fine.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [incensed] You won't read your mail, but you'll open mine?
- Dr. Gregory House: It said confidential. I wanted to know.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: The most important letter of my life, and you're still an ass.
- Dr. Gregory House: Comforting, isn't it?
- [she walks out on him]
- Dr. Gregory House: [When House wants to discharge a patient] We're done. Get rid of her!
- Dr. Eric Foreman: We're not done! We have to confirm the diagnosis before we send her home to die of something else!
- Dr. Gregory House: [looks Foreman in the eye] Oh, yes. The power tastes so sweet! You just can't resist! You're like a diabetic at the ice cream counter, you want to say no, but you need that chocolate-y goodness!
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Yeah, well, I'm still signing the charts. So until tomorrow, you're not allowed to kill anyone.
- [walks away]
- Dr. Gregory House: Wuss!
- Dr. Gregory House: What does the flailing look like?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Her arms spasm uncontrollably and there's a mild facial twitch.
- Dr. Gregory House: Demonstration?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: [in a impatient tone] You wanna know what it looks like, go see the patient.
- Dr. Gregory House: Ooh, snarky. Was he like this the whole time I was gone?
- Dr. Gregory House: [House is discussing the possibility of Stacy breaking up with her husband to be with him while Wilson is rolling marijuana joints] She's not gonna leave Mark in the middle of his rehab. Too much guilt.
- Dr. James Wilson: She left you.
- Dr. Gregory House: [with a stoner accent] Harsh toke, dude!
- Dr. Eric Foreman: It's the perfect marriage: there's nothing to fight over if you never talk about anything.
- Dr. Gregory House: You're gonna want to paralyze her. You run tests on a flailer, somebody's gonna lose an eye.