I Love Lucy (TV Series)

Lucy Hires a Maid (1953)

Vivian Vance: Ethel Mertz

Quotes 

• Ricky Ricardo : You know what I was thinkin', Ethel?

  Ethel Mertz : What?

  Ricky Ricardo : I ought to get Lucy a maid.

  Ethel Mertz : A maid? Oh, Ricky, that's wonderful.

  Ricky Ricardo : Well, it's a big 'spense, but she can't go on this way.

  Fred Mertz : So you're thinkin' of gettin' Lucy a maid, huh? Hey, that idea might be a good thing for us, too.

  Ethel Mertz : Why, Fred, are you thinkin' of gettin' me a maid?

  Fred Mertz : Nope, I'm thinkin' of hirin' you out to the Ricardos.

• Lucy Ricardo : [Lucy arrives at Ethel's]  Hi.

  Ethel Mertz : [Lucy has been putting on airs, due to having a maid]  Oh, pardon my answering the door dressed like this, your highness, if you'll excuse me I'll go put on a formal gown.

  [Bows down] 

  Lucy Ricardo : Oh shut up.

  Ethel Mertz : What's the matter?

  Lucy Ricardo : Oh Ethel, let's face it, I'm not the type to have a maid. Some people are cut out for champagne and caviar, I'm more the beer and pretzel type.

• Lucy Ricardo : [Lucy and Ethel have just realized that Mrs Porter would leave if she had to do a lot of hard work every day]  How can we make my apartment look like a pigpen?

  Ethel Mertz : Oh, that's easy, let Fred stay there for awhile.