- [first lines]
- Ricky Ricardo: [Lucy is making funny faces in her vanity mirror] Lucy, what are you doing?
- Lucy Ricardo: Honey, remember what you said to me the first time you met me?
- Ricky Ricardo: I sure do. I said you were a cute little chicken.
- Lucy Ricardo: Well, I got something to tell you about this cute little chicken. She has crow's feet.
- Lucy Ricardo: Fred, you've given me an idea. I'm going to gve Ricky scalp treatments. And they'll be so drastic he'll be glad to forget the whole thing.
- Fred Mertz: It won't work...
- Lucy Ricardo: Why not?
- Fred Mertz: Nothing has ever been invented that a man won't try if he thinks he can get his hair back.
- Lucy Ricardo: Oh, yeah? Well, you haven't heard of the "Lucy Ricardo Torture System of Hair Restoring."