I Love Lucy (TV Series)

The Marriage License (1952)

Lucille Ball: Lucy Ricardo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ricky Ricardo : I was clearing out the desk and I found this.

  Ricky Ricardo : Why, it's our marriage license.

  Lucy Ricardo : Yeah.

  Ricky Ricardo : Well, what's the matter? Don't tell me it's expired!

• Mr. Willoughby : [Lucy and Ricky arrive at the Eagle Hotel to be re-married]  Sign the register.

  Mr. Willoughby : [he reads it aloud as Ricky is signing]  Mr and Mrs Ricky Ri, Ri, Ri - car - do.

  Lucy Ricardo : Pardon me, please.

  [still upset with Ricky for ruining her memories of their first marriage, she scratches out what he's written and registers herself] 

  Mr. Willoughby : *Miss* Lucille McGillicuddy. Good girl.

  Mr. Willoughby : [to Ricky]  You cad! That'll be two rooms: 102, 312.

  Ricky Ricardo : Oh, what's the difference.

  Mr. Willoughby : Two floors, that's the difference!

• Ricky Ricardo : [finally admitting the joke he played on Lucy when she thought their marriage license might be invalid]  Let me explain the whole thing to you, will you please? The whole thing is a gag, honey. Now, I'll tell you what happened. Look, heh, heh, heh, you know, Fred Mertz had a friend, he had a friend down at the license bureau, see, so I asked him to tell his friend to tell you when you got down there that the license was no good, and that we were not married at all, heh, heh, that's what I told him, and he did it, you know, heh, heh, heh. Isn't that funny? Heh, heh, heh.

  Lucy Ricardo : [after a pregnant pause]  That's the phoniest story I've ever heard.

  Mr. Willoughby : That's the phoniest story *I* have ever heard, and I've heard 'em all!