Michael has a new friend, Tex, who likes all things American. Alan is jealous and cancels Michael's invitation to join Alan in watching all the James Bond films. Lynn's new boyfriend, Gordon... Read allMichael has a new friend, Tex, who likes all things American. Alan is jealous and cancels Michael's invitation to join Alan in watching all the James Bond films. Lynn's new boyfriend, Gordon, warns Alan about his behaviour towards Lynn.Michael has a new friend, Tex, who likes all things American. Alan is jealous and cancels Michael's invitation to join Alan in watching all the James Bond films. Lynn's new boyfriend, Gordon, warns Alan about his behaviour towards Lynn.
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Storyline
Did you know
- TriviaSteve Coogan has stated he didn't need to research any James Bond films prior to script writing as being such an avid fan he knew all the films so well.
- GoofsAlan is disappointed that he can't watch The Spy Who Loved Me (1977), saying that he wanted to see Roger Moore necking with Fiona Fullerton. Fullerton played a Bond girl (Pola Ivanova) in A View to a Kill (1985), not The Spy Who Loved Me (1977).
- Quotes
Sonja: The Spy Who Loved Me is a brilliant film. It begin in forest in Germany...
Alan Partridge: [irritated] It's Austria! Austriaaa!
Builder: What's the one where the laser beam goes up his jaffas?
Alan Partridge: Goldfingerrr!
Michael: What's the one with the, with the volcano, and it splits up and a big rocket comes oot, there's all chinkies dropping doon?
Tex: Isn't that, er, Thunderball?
Alan Partridge: No, no, no! No! Stop getting Bond wrong! I'll tell you about The Spy Who Loved Me. All do that with your fingers round your eye.
[he uses his thumb and forefinger to make a circle and holds it up to his eye. The others do the same]
Alan Partridge: [imitates the James Bond gun barrel opening] I'm Roger Moore. Bang! Blood dribbles down. We're on a submarine. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. Then the cups start wobbling and then a man who used to be in The Onedin Line comes in and goes "Why are the cups wobbling? What's going on?" And then... yeah, you can stop doing that now.
[the others stop making circles round their eyes with their fingers]
Alan Partridge: And then he peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes, "Oh my God. The submarine's being eaten by a giant tanker." And then we cut to Moscow. And there's a man there and he's Russian, he's got eyebrows, you know, and he's on the phone going "What, a whole submarine? You're joking! I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians. See ya!" Right, and then, and then it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he's with a lady. Yeah, yeah. He's, he's necking with her. And he goes, "I've got to go, love. Something's come up."
Michael: [giggles] Aye, he means his cock!
Alan Partridge: [getting increasingly animated] Anyway, then he, he, he puts on his underpants and his ski suit and he gets on his skis and he starts skiing. And he's being chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping. And, er, he's just skiing along like that, and they start shooting at him, and he goes "Right, I've had enough of that! Just stop it!" And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp and he lands on his feet, uh, I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. And then, then he goes over a cliff and he's falling and you think, oh God, James Bond's going to die! He's going to die! But then at the last minute...
Michael: He pulls a ripcord, right? And a, and a parachute comes oot and it's got a Union Jack on it...
Alan Partridge: MICHAEL! MICHAEL!
Michael: But that's how it ends!
Alan Partridge: That's not the end of the beginning. The end of the beginning goes like this:
[sings "Nobody Does It Better" and acts out the title sequence]
Alan Partridge: Glang! Glangalangalangalangalangalang! Glangalang, langalangala, nobody does it better - and I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it - ooh, bit of nipple - quite as good as you. Baby, you're the best. Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. Da, da, da, da, daa. I wasn't looking and somehow you found me - ooh, bit of bush, er - I tried to hide from your love light - and a woman swinging on a Luger, a giant Luger, ooh, look at that - Like heaven above me - and now another naked woman walking along the top of a gun, completely Billy Bollocks - The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman, legs go right apart - ooh, what was that? Too late - Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best!
Sonja: [clapping] Yes! Brilliant!
[the others give Alan a round of applause]
Alan Partridge: Yeah, so, uh, do you want to hear some more?
[cut to the others watching America's Strongest Man, while Alan childishly play-acts James Bond outside on his own]
- ConnectionsFeatured in Diminishing Returns: On Her Majesty's Secret Service (2017)
- SoundtracksI Loved You, But You Left Me
Performed by Christian Le Vaux
This is a very funny episode that uses the supporting characters well to bring out some of Alan's most outrageous personality traits.
It's a simple plot, with Alan's plans going awry and other people getting dragged into it in a humorous way. As ever it is Alan's dialogue and behaviour that takes centre stage with him showcasing one of his nerdiest obsessions. Some of the lines, particularly the ones about Lynn's mother and the Timothy Dalton version of Bond are superb.
Steve Coogan is incredibly funny in this episode and one scene involving some Bond movie reenactment is one of the best bits of comic performance I've seen from an actor. All the supporting cast are excellent.
- snoozejonc
- Mar 7, 2021
- Permalink
Details
- Runtime29 minutes