- Chief Inspector Morse: They say sex can be very good for the over sixty-fives.
- Detective Sergeant Lewis: Oh, do they?
- Chief Inspector Morse: Especially if you didn't get much before sixty-five.
- Cedric Downes: You know, I was a Jesus in one of the less fashionable colleges, Wales you know, founded 1671.
- Janet Roscoe: I thought Jesus was at Cambridge.
- Sheila Williams: No, no, he went to Bethlehem tech.
- Janet Roscoe: Is that what they mean by the English sense of humour?
- Sheila Williams: Where else would he go to do carpentry?
- Chief Inspector Morse: How long was he in the water?
- Max: Oh, I couldn't possibly say.
- Chief Inspector Morse: Roughly?
- Max: Ah, not more than six hours.
- Chief Inspector Morse: Oh, for God's sake! It's less than six hours since I saw him.
- Max: Well, there you are. You know better than me - as usual. Any witnesses?
- Chief Inspector Morse: To what?
- Max: To your meeting with the victim.
- Chief Inspector Morse: None that I know of.
- Max: Then you'd better arrest yourself, Morse. You work on the principle that the last person to see someone alive must be his killer, don't you?
- Eddie Poindexter: Goddamn it, inspector! If you don't understand temptation, what kind of a policeman are you?"
- Chief Inspector Morse: If anyone wants me, they'll find me looking at fish... through the bottom of a beer glass.
- Chief Inspector Morse: Never, never interrupt me when I'm booking my seat for the opera, Lewis.
- Detective Sergeant Lewis: I'm sorry, sir.
- Chief Inspector Morse: I might get Madame Butterfly instead of Berlioz. Might get Handel, for God's sake. Now, what's the problem?
- [first lines]
- Sheila Williams: This street's called St. Giles and there's been a fair here every September since the Middle Ages. The whole road is blocked for days.
- Shirley Brown: Well, how do people get around?
- Sheila Williams: They walk.
- Max: Ah, Morse. Now you're a pathologist, I expect you'd like to give your opinion before you see the corpse. Poindexter you say his name was?
- Chief Inspector Morse: Suicide by drowning.
- Max: Back to school for you, I'm afraid. Wrong on both counts. Go and see for yourself.
- Chief Inspector Morse: Max!
- Max: No, no, no. You're the expert.
- Chief Inspector Morse: Drink?
- Theodore Kemp: No, no, better keep a clear head.
- Chief Inspector Morse: Really, sir. What for?
- Hotel Manager: Dr. Swain has been our doctor for some time. We've never had any complaints about him before.
- Detective Sergeant Lewis: Well, that's the Chief Inspector for you.
- Chief Inspector Morse: Where are you off to? High table somewhere?
- Max: Area Health Authority Annual Dinner. Dr. Swain will be there I'll give him your compliments, shall I? Good night , Lewis.
- Detective Sergeant Lewis: Good night, sir.
- Max: Try not to let Morse drink so much, won't you? It's rotting his powers of reason.
- Max: Why the hell Morse has to drag me out to confirm a perfectly ordinary heart attack.
- Detective Sergeant Lewis: I think he thought it wasn't perfectly ordinary, sir.
- Max: He thought wrong, as usual.
- Chief Inspector Morse: Where does Mrs. Williams live? Did you find out?
- Detective Sergeant Lewis: Cutteslowe 11 Markham Avenue.
- Chief Inspector Morse: That's upstream of here. She did have a motive, didn't she?
- Detective Sergeant Lewis: You think a woman could have done that to him?
- Chief Inspector Morse: Hell hath no fury, Lewis.
- Detective Sergeant Lewis: I think I'all just pop down and see Aunt Cissy.
- [Morse laughs]
- Detective Sergeant Lewis: Well, you don't want us to do me back in again, do you?
- Chief Inspector Morse: You do what you like, Lewis. I'm going to stay and look at the water for a while.
- Detective Sergeant Lewis: You? Water?
- Chief Inspector Morse: If anyone wants me they'll find me looking at fish... through the bottom of a beer glass.
- Detective Sergeant Lewis: I'll see you, then.
- Chief Inspector Morse: See you.
- Sheila Williams: I don't know whether I'm in shock, or I've got a hangover.
- Chief Inspector Morse: It's a bit of both, I expect.