- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: [on the phone, trying to arrange a flight for Admiral Chegwidden] I'm trying to find a flight to Rome, preferably today. No, I'm not kidding. Hello? Hello?
- [Bud plays with a Christmas toy and it accidentally bumps into Admiral Chegwidden]
- Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Is this your robot, Lieutenant?
- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: No, sir. Not really. It's a Christmas present for one of the kids at the Children's Hospital. I guess it, uh... uh... wandered off, sir.
- Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [hearing something nearby] What the hell is that sound?
- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Chipmunks?
- [off Chegwidden's expression of disbelief]
- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Their Christmas album, sir.
- Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Lieutenant, this building is the JAG headquarters for the United States Navy. We don't allow chipmunks, squirrels, gophers, or any other type of singing vermin in JAG. Understood?
- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Yes, sir.
- Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Good.
- [Chegwidden walks away, then pauses]
- Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You found me a flight to Italy?
- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Actually, I'm waiting on a few phone calls, sir. But I am working on it.
- Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Work harder.
- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: [being introduced to Chloe] You can call me Bud.
- Chloe Madison: Butt? What's that short for? Butt-Ugly?
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: CHLOE!
- Chloe Madison: Hey. It's just a joke. I'm just trying to break the ice here.
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, you broke it! Now you're sinking in it.
- [regarding Chloe's stepfather's abusive girlfriend]
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: We had a little chat, girlfriend to Marine, I don't think there'll be any more problems.
- Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Mr. Roberts.
- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Yes, sir.
- Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: I need to get to Milan tonight.
- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Uh but, sir, the storm.
- Admiral Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Come hell or high water, Lieutenant.
- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Aye aye, sir.