- Jack Stiles: Okay, here's the plan. You get on the grassy knoll, I'll position myself at the book depository, and we'll triangulate that evil genius to kingdom come.
- Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: Don't be silly, Jack. That would never work.
- Jack Stiles: You're right. We need a patsy.
- Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: I never thought you would be fowl enough to frequent such a disreputable place, Jean-Claude.
- Jean-Claude: Oh, I cannot help it, Madame. I seem to have an unquenchable thirst for sex on the beach.
- Jack Stiles: [off Emilia's indignant look] That's another drink, Em.
- Jean-Claude: It is?
- Captain Brogard: You do not know how I have fantasized about this moment
- Jack Stiles: Oh yeah? Which one of us was Little Miss Bo Peep? On second thought, don't answer that.
- Jack Stiles: Oh, uh... Croque!
- [Flips a gold coin to Croque]
- Jack Stiles: This is for the broken window.
- Governor Croque: What broken window?
- Jack Stiles: Muhahaha!
- [Crashes through a window]