Jeeves and Wooster (TV Series)
In Court After the Boat Race (or, Jeeves' Arrival) (1990)
Hugh Laurie: Bertie Wooster
Photos
Quotes
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Bertie : But I don't want to be molded! I'm not a jelly.
Aunt Agatha Gregson : That is a matter of opinion.
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Bertie : [pausing while playing "Minnie the Moocher" on the piano] Now that is clever, Jeeves.
Jeeves : Sir?
Bertie : That part about "the king of Sweden" and "things she was needin'."
Jeeves : Yes, His Majesty King Gustav appears to have been exceptionally generous to the young lady, sir.
Bertie : No, I mean, it rhymes, Jeeves.
Jeeves : Almost, sir.
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[Bingo has revealed his love for Honoria to Bertie]
Bingo Little : We walk together in the gardens most evenings, and it sometimes seems to me there's a look in her eye.
Bertie : Yes, I know that look. Like a Sergeant-Major.
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Jeeves : [Bertie Wooster, speechless from the ill effects of a hangover, is approached by valet-applicant Jeeves, who holds out a glass of reddish liquid on a tray] If you would drink this, sir. It's a little preparation of my own invention. Gentlemen have told me they find it extremely invigorating after a late evening.
Bertie : [Making incomprehensible sounds, Bertie takes the glass and downs the contents, then coughs, shudders, and shakes his head] I say! I...
[Amazed at his rapid recovery, and being able to speak once more, Bertie gets up to examine himself in the nearby mirror]
Bertie : I say! You're engaged!
Jeeves : Thank you, sir. My name is Jeeves.
Bertie : I say, Jeeves, what an extraordinary talent!
Jeeves : Thank you, sir.
Bertie : [holding up the empty glass] Eh, could one enquire what...?
Jeeves : I'm sorry, sir.
Bertie : No, no, of course not.
Jeeves : I'm not at liberty to divulge the ingredients, sir.
Bertie : No, no, no, of course not. Secrets of the guild and all that.
Jeeves : Precisely, sir.
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Bertie : [singing Minnie the Moocher] Ho dee ho dee ho dee ho
Jeeves : [speaking] Ho dee ho dee ho, sir.
Bertie : [stumbles a bit at the piano] ...rah di rah di rah
Jeeves : Rah di rah di rah, sir?
Bertie : Tee di hee di hee
Jeeves : Tee di hee di hee, sir.
Bertie : Yes...hm... I don't mean to be overly critical Jeeves, I mean, I know you're doing your best...
Jeeves : Thank you, sir!
Bertie : I just think that perhaps we could dispense with the 'sir' at the end of every line. You know, shows the proper feudal spirit and all that, but I'm afraid if it doesn't play merry hell with the rhythm of the thing.
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[Bingo intoduces Bertie to Honoria's younger brother, Oswald]
Bertie : Well, hello Oswald. How are you?
Oswald : All right.
Bertie : Nice place, this.
Oswald : It's all right.
Bertie : Like fishing, do you?
Oswald : It's all right.
[Bingo and Bertie walk on]
Bertie : Why don't you shove him in?
Bingo Little : Into the water?
Bertie : Wake him up a bit.
Bingo Little : She'd never forgive me. She's devoted to the little brute.
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[first lines]
Sir Watkyn Bassett : This is one of the most shameful cases ever to come before this bench. In all my years as a magistrate I have seldom heard a tale of such heinous iniquity.
Bertie : I... I...
Sir Watkyn Bassett : Be quiet! This parasite can think of no better way to end an evening's hooliganism on the night of the University Boat Race Can our seats of learning produce barbarians so lost to decency that their highest ambition is to steal a hard-working police constable's helmet and make off with it?
Bertie : Uh...
Sir Watkyn Bassett : I find you guilty as charged, Bertram Wilberforce Wooster, and have no alternative but to fine you the sum of five pounds.
Bertie : Ah!
Sir Watkyn Bassett : No buts, Wooster.
Bertie : Ah! Ho...
Sir Watkyn Bassett : No ifs... Take him away!
