Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

Dive (2004)

Amber Tamblyn: Joan Girardi

Quotes 

• Coach Carol Keady : Can I help you, Mr. Girardi?

  Luke Girardi : Yeah, I'd like to try out for the team. Uh, if I'm not too late.

  Joan Girardi : You are. Go away.

  Coach Carol Keady : Clamp it, female Girardi.

  Joan Girardi : He's totally copying me!

  Luke Girardi : I am not!

  Coach Carol Keady : Sibling rivalry. Healthy motivator. The Williams sisters, the Carpenters. Donny and Marie, not so much.

• Cute Boy God : [Cute Boy God approaches Joan in school hallway]  Hi Joan.

  Joan Girardi : [Group of passing girls hit on Him in the hall]  Are girls always hitting you with that look?

  [He smiles] 

  Joan Girardi : Oh they do. Hitting on God, that's gross.

  Cute Boy God : I'd like you to do something that scares you.

  Joan Girardi : Uh, lots of things scare me. You, actually, you scare me. Care to be a little bit more specific?

  Cute Boy God : For me, that's pretty specific.

  Joan Girardi : And I still can't ask why.

  Cute Boy God : You can *ask*.

• Joan Girardi : [Sees Cute Boy God in the hall]  You really are omnipresent, aren't you.

  Cute Boy God : I get around. What your brother did, took a lot of guts.

  Joan Girardi : Yeah well, I had my doubts there. Right up til the end.

  Cute Boy God : Everyone does. Fear is very powerful, it paralyzes people. They don't see the value in it.

  Joan Girardi : In being terrified? No, we don't, because we're not insane.

  Cute Boy God : But you saw Luke. How happy he was. He found that other half of his life that he wanted. You think that would've happened if he kept running from what he was afraid of?

  Joan Girardi : Okay! Okay, I'll suit up and dive.

  Cute Boy God : I never said you had to dive.

  Joan Girardi : Hello, you've been all over me about this. What about the dreams?

  [Referring to dreams about Judith at the pool] 

  Cute Boy God : The dreams weren't about the high board, Joan.

  [Joan sighs] 

  Cute Boy God : You know that.

• Adam Rove : Another chance for us to feel like a sub-defective.

  Luke Girardi : Fighting over balls, adding muscle mass for no socially productive use. It's an evolutionary anomaly.

  Joan Girardi : Friedman tried gymnastics.

  Grace Polk : Yeah, and almost lost his jewels on the vault.

• Helen Girardi : Oh, you look so nice. Is that a new sweater?

  Luke Girardi : And a liter of cologne?

  Will Girardi : Ooh, I smell romance.

  Kevin Girardi : Someone's in a disturbingly good mood.

  Will Girardi : Got to enjoy the good days.

  Joan Girardi : [entering and sniffing the air]  Who bathed in Drakkar?

  Kevin Girardi : It said "Apply liberally." Pardon me for following directions.

• Will Girardi : [learning Joan is trying out for the diving team]  Luke, you should do it, too. You loved diving when we used to go to that pool in Farrington.

  Helen Girardi : Will.

  Joan Girardi : Luke in a Speedo. They don't make enough blindfolds.

• Female Custodian God : Oh, great dive, Joan.

  Joan Girardi : God mocking humans? That's nice.

  Female Custodian God : [laughing]  Belly flop. Eternally funny. Nothin' I can do about it.

  Joan Girardi : Funny? Look at me. I'm a beat.

• Joan Girardi : Look, if you're still trying to prove yourself against Kevin...

  Luke Girardi : Grace accused me of being a coward.

  Joan Girardi : Grace rags on everybody.

  Luke Girardi : She's right. I couldn't dive because I was afraid I'd look stupid.

  Joan Girardi : Hey, if I let that stop me, I'd never do anything.

• Joan Girardi : [at Judith's grave]  I didn't think to bring anything 'cause... well, what are you gonna do with flowers? So... Things are pretty much the same, which is weird. Although, Luke did this, uh, this awesome dive off of the high board, w-w-which wasn't really a "dive" dive. It was more like Will Ferrell falling out of a plane. You would have peed yourself. Can I say that in a cemetery? Anyway, Luke... Luke did it. Oh, and he and, uh, Grace are a public item. Ah, it's a freak show. And you're, um...

  [crying] 

  Joan Girardi : You're, um... dead, and I didn't come before because, um... I was so scared that if I had to say goodbye, you know, the real way where I have to admit that I'm never gonna see you again... it would hurt so much to let go like that. And it may never stop, but... but I have to. Goodbye.