- Dog Walker God: [after Joan's near-miss with a skateboarder] Hey, you gotta look where you're going, Joan.
- Joan Girardi: [sarcastic] Thanks for the lecture. It helps right now.
- Dog Walker God: You got a "D" on your geometry test, huh?
- Joan Girardi: Yes, a "D", and now the dogs are actually eating my homework. What is this, "take a cosmic dump on Joan day"?
- Dog Walker God: Hey, you know, I'm helping you pick up your stuff here. You know, you're not being very appreciative.
- Joan Girardi: You want some appreciation? Ease up on the homework and the tests. Maybe toss a lightning bolt at that twerp on the skateboard.
- Dog Walker God: Actually, I was thinking more about, uh... piano lessons.
- Joan Girardi: [indicating her armload of books] Do you see all this, all-seeing one? Huh? I have a Noah's Ark-load of homework already.
- Dog Walker God: Joan, take piano lessons.
- Joan Girardi: I took them when I was little. You know how much I hated them.
- Dog Walker God: Actually, I thought you were kind of good. I mean, you were solidly in the groove on, uh, "Eensie Weensie Spider". Remember?
- Joan Girardi: My parents can't afford lessons.
- Dog Walker God: Ah, you'll figure it out.
- Joan Girardi: No, I won't!
- Eva Garrison: What do you want?
- Joan Girardi: Piano lessons.
- Eva Garrison: Why? Your parents forcing you?
- Joan Girardi: No.
- Eva Garrison: Then why?
- Joan Girardi: Because I used to play when I was little, and I miss it.
- Eva Garrison: [with a sigh] Right.
- Joan Girardi: [heaving a heavy sigh] Because someone very important thought I was good at "Eensie Weensie Spider". How many reasons do you need?
- Eva Garrison: Fifty. You got fifty bucks?
- Joan Girardi: Fifty?
- Eva Garrison: Yeah. That'll barely cover the Scotch I'll need after listening to another kid butch Bach.
- Joan Girardi: What's this? Crazy shirt day? 'Cause you are totally winning.
- Adam Rove: Uh, Iris gave it to me.
- Joan Girardi: Oh. So this is a... choice.
- Iris: It's vintage. Still has the original tag.
- Joan Girardi: You look like an escapee from a VH1 special.
- Piano Tuner God: Oh, wow, some of these hammers are broken. That's why it doesn't sound right. You can't play all the notes.
- Joan Girardi: Yeah, well, you can raise people from the dead, so just wave your hand and fix the stupid piano.
- Piano Tuner God: You want special effects, rent "Lord of the Rings". I'm a craftsman, and fixing a piano is delicate work. This one has been... badly neglected.
- Joan Girardi: Yeah, well, budget cutbacks. You should see the girls' bathroom.
- Piano Tuner God: Plato said "Music is the essence of order and leads to all that is good, true, and beautiful."
- Joan Girardi: Okay, so now you're quoting Mickey Mouse's dog? Okay.
- Piano Tuner God: No, music... can't be true if some of the notes are silent.
- Joan Girardi: You are like an endless pop quiz. Music is a metaphor for life, for people. Because pretty much everyone I know is missing a few notes.
- Piano Tuner God: I have to go to my truck for new hammers. You should find someplace else to practice.
- Joan Girardi: You have to help me track down this Richard Girardi guy.
- Luke Girardi: Joan, that would be irrational in the extreme. Dad's behavior made it quite clear he didn't want this to become an issue.
- Joan Girardi: I'm pretty sure his hammer is broken, and how can he play music without all his notes? So you have to help me find Richard.
- Luke Girardi: There was so little of that that I understood.
- Joan Girardi: Hey, look, just get on the Internet and kick your geek thing into action and find Richard Girardi.
- Luke Girardi: Joan, you remember watching "The Godfather" with dad? He thinks it's a documentary. You do not mess around with Italians and their families.
- Joan Girardi: Do you realize the ratio of whole numbers that governs harmony is, like, the same ratio that governs all of geometry?
- Luke Girardi: Of course.
- Joan Girardi: Well, you can't play "Eensie Weensie Spider", dork.
- Luke Girardi: You know, I would appreciate a little consideration and respect. I've discovered the elusive Richard Girardi.
- Joan Girardi: Oh, I meant "dork" in a nice way, really.
- Joan Girardi: Guess I didn't do such a good job today.
- Dog Walker God: What are you talking about? You raised your grade from a "D" to a "C".
- Joan Girardi: C-plus! It's just that my dad... what happened... he couldn't handle it.
- Dog Walker God: Well, he has his missing note. He'll play it when the time is right. It's a long song, Joan. There are so many variations, and, you know, you never know what the next phrase is gonna be.
- Adam Rove: Hey, you've been crying.
- Joan Girardi: Don't worry. Not because of you. Well, I'm sure you were in there someplace.
- Adam Rove: I talked to Iris. I told how I felt.
- Joan Girardi: How's that?
- Adam Rove: The same way you feel. I was just scared, Jane. Got kinda hurt before, and I thought... about you. And... and being scared didn't matter that much.
- [a tear rolls down her cheek]
- Adam Rove: Hey, you're crying again.
- Joan Girardi: Yeah.