Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

Silence (2004)

Amber Tamblyn: Joan Girardi

Quotes 

• Joan : I thought we were going with monotheism.

  Twin-Girl God : I'm impressed you know what that is.

  Joan : Why are you torturing me? And don't say I'm torturing myself.

  Twin-Girl God : Sometimes it's hard to believe what you see, so you have to trust the world behind your eyes,

  Joan : There's a world behind my eyes? Great, because this one isn't enough trouble.

  Twin-Girl God : People manage to believe in me, even though they have no idea what I am, they trust me even in the silence.

  Joan : OK. Can you take care of the rash and the barfing? Save the haiku for another time.

  [Twin-Girls combine into one] 

  Joan : Very Matrix.

  Twin-Girl God : Go to the doctor. You're sick.

• Little Girl God : Feeling better, Joan?

  Joan : I feel like I got hit by a Hummer.

• Joan : [dabbing lotion on a rash on her leg]  Great. Leprosy. Just in time for summer.

  Luke Girardi : It's probably a staph infection you picked up in the locker room. Ooh. Very tenacious. Calamine's not gonna do it.

  Joan : Hey, sometimes science should be seen and not heard.

  Kevin Girardi : Legs are overrated. Take it from an expert; you can still get laid.

  Joan : Do boys have to talk?

• Helen Girardi : Sorry, I'm running behind. Who wants pancakes?

  Kevin Girardi : We're already eating, mom.

  Helen Girardi : Eating what?

  Kevin Girardi : Day-old burrito for me. Luke has some fish sticks, and Joan has some corn chips.

  Joan : Bean dip. Protein.

  Helen Girardi : You're all gonna get scurvy.

  Luke Girardi : Joan already has it.

  Helen Girardi : [seeing Joan's rash]  What is that?

  Joan : It's God's idea of a cruel joke. "Last day of school, party in the quad, everybody wearing miniskirts. Let's give Joan herpes."

  Helen Girardi : Well, you look cute in jeans.

• Grace Polk : What's with the flea bites? STD already? I thought there was an incubation period.

  Joan : A little louder, please.

  Grace Polk : You seem kind of sweaty.

  Joan : All this blatant flattery. I feel really great about myself.

  Grace Polk : Does this have anything to do with... the do?

  Joan : What "do"?

  Grace Polk : That you did with Rove.

  Joan : But I didn't.

  Grace Polk : Everybody knows about the hotel.

  Friedman : [passing by]  Congratulations, and thank you for putting the sub-defectives on the map.

  Joan : Whoa. Nothing happened, okay? Adam just... cleaned the carpet.

  Friedman : I like. And the carpet seems very shiny today.

  Joan : [softly slapping him]  You pig!

• Joan : I don't feel so good.

  Grace Polk : Friedman is a termite. Come on, buck up. You can't miss the Liberation Festival on the lawn. Student/faculty egg and spoon race, hmm? Who needs drugs?

  Joan : Uh, I feel kind of dizzy.

  Friedman : And hot.

  Joan : Shut it!

  Friedman : I mean... I meant hot.

  Joan : Okay, I'm-I'm gonna do some vomiting. I'll be back.

• Joan : [sick in the school bathroom]  Ugh. Barfing, rash, last day of school. You're a real party in a box.

• Joan : Oh, I'm sick.

  Luke Girardi : Why don't you find mom and go home?

  Joan : I went to the office and they said she'd left, and I can't find Adam.

  Grace Polk : Oh, look, they made it three-legged this year. Inspired choice, tying yourself to a faculty member. I've had that dream.

  Luke Girardi : I need to find Adam.

  Luke Girardi : Hornsby's the one to beat. Three-year reigning champion.

  Grace Polk : The typing teacher? He's, like, 80.

  Joan : Where is he? Is he at the library?

  Grace Polk : Are you talking to your little invisible friend?

• Mascot God : You should do it.

  Joan : What?

  Mascot God : Be in the race.

  Joan : But you said go to the doctor.

  Mascot God : I say a lot of things.

  Joan : Okay... was that you in the bathroom?

  Mascot God : It's me here now, and that's the point. My name is "I am", not "I was".

• Joan : What's going on?

  Nigerian Doctor God : You're in the hospital. The doctor will see you. Then you'll know what's wrong.

  Joan : Why are you acting so mysterious all of a sudden?

  Nigerian Doctor God : I've always been mysterious. Without it, there is no faith. And we love faith.

  Joan : Whose faith?

  Nigerian Doctor God : Lie down. You're feverish.