Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

The Election (2004)

Amber Tamblyn: Joan Girardi

Quotes 

• Locksmith God : Oh, sorry I'm late. File cabinet crisis in the Biology lab.

  Joan Girardi : So?

  Locksmith God : Oh, relax. These lockers are surprisingly well-ventilated.

  [handing her a stack of fliers] 

  Locksmith God : I think you dropped these.

  Joan Girardi : Oh, so the supreme being cares about student council elections? It's not like some kid is gonna invade a country.

  Locksmith God : I care about anything that involves free will.

  Joan Girardi : Well, most people exercise their free will by not voting.

  Locksmith God : You have a chance to make a difference here.

• Joan Girardi : Brian Beaumont.

  Grace Polk : Isn't he the scuzz-crack who fired you from Yearbook?

  Joan Girardi : Oh, yeah.

  Judith Montgomery : Ugh, is he kidding with the argyle sweater? Oh, god. Pants riding up. Argyle socks, too? Oh, my eyes! My eyes!

• Brian Beaumont : I have got a six-point plan with key features like student tutoring, peer counseling, and a radical re-examination of standardized testing.

  Joan Girardi : Are there CliffNotes for this?

• Joan Girardi : Oh, I can't watch. It's too horrible.

  Rocker Dude God : Multiply that by six billion and you'll know what I go through every day.

  Joan Girardi : Can't you, like, smite them or something?

• Joan Girardi : Are you eating a Lars bar?

  Judith Montgomery : Keep your hair on. I'm only in it for the chocolate. And the possibility of meaningless groping with the candidate.

• Locksmith God : Mankind lives in a prison of its own making. But you always call on me for the keys.

  Joan Girardi : I couldn't do it. I... I couldn't win that way.

  Locksmith God : Yeah. It's amazing how many people could have.

  Joan Girardi : So Lars is gonna win?

  Locksmith God : Landslide.

  Joan Girardi : I drove myself crazy for nothing.

  Locksmith God : You were involved, Joan. That always makes a difference.

• Adam Rove : Your mom finally got my work to the dean of the Graphics Art department at state college, and he said I'm good enough for the professional program, but...

  Joan Girardi : At least one of us has a future.

  Luke Girardi : [banging from a nearby locker]  Locksmith's on his way, Friedman. Just hang in there.

  Friedman : Dude, you said that five minutes ago, when there was oxygen in here.

  Adam Rove : No, it's not gonna happen. I mean, the night classes are, like, five hundred bucks a credit.

  Joan Girardi : They must have scholarships. You're brilliant. The dean guy even said so.

  Adam Rove : No, no scholarships for the arts. Budget cuts. I mean, it's so lame.

  Friedman : Hello? I'm starting to cramp in here.

  Joan Girardi : Friedman, stop complaining!