- Maya Gallo: Where's your Christmas spirit?
- Staffer #1: I'm Jewish.
- Maya Gallo: [singing] Ooooh, dreidel, dreidel, dreidel / I made you out of clay...
- Staffer #1: I'm Jewish. I'm not twelve.
- Ray Liotta: Everyone thinks I'm like my character in Goodfellas, but in real life, I'm more like my character in Operation Dumbo Drop.
- Elliot DiMauro: What happened?
- Jack Gallo: I was just explaining to Paul that even though Grandma Pearl is dead, she still loves him.
- Elliot DiMauro: Grandma Pearl is not dead. She moved to Palm Beach.
- Ray Liotta: You don't get it, do you? You think I make movies because I like making movies? I just do it to pay for Christmas! I live for this holiday, and now it's over! What, now I'm supposed to go back to Hollywood, be an actor for twelve months? Not me! Not this Ray Liotta!
- Kevin Liotta: What are you guys talking about?
- Nina Van Horn: Losing our virginity. What's your story?
- [Kevin hyperventilates and runs away]
- Dennis Finch: How about if I say a word, and you say the first word that pops into your head?
- Nina Van Horn: I hate this game! They used to make me play it at the sanitarium.
- Elliot DiMauro: Kevin, come in here. Tell him what you saw.
- Kevin Liotta: Hannah cut in front of Paul. She said she could do whatever she wants because her daddy rules the world.
- Jack Gallo: But then the boy hit her?
- Kevin Liotta: No. She pushed him. I told her to stop, and she threw an ornament at my head. She told me not to tell anybody... but I refuse to live in fear any more.
- Nina Van Horn: My God, there's children everywhere. It's bad enough they run amok in our parks and playgrounds... Except yours, Jack. Hannah is an angel on butterscotch wings.
- Dennis Finch: Here he is, the Kringle with the jingle, the guy in the sleigh who gives stuff away, the jolly dude from zero latitude, I believe you know who I'm talking about... the one, the only, Santa!
- Dennis Finch: You have to help me write this. We could make a ton of money.
- Nina Van Horn: Oh, I don't know, Finch. I'm not a musician, I only sleep with them.
- Dennis Finch: White.
- Nina Van Horn: Snow.
- Dennis Finch: Christmas.
- Nina Van Horn: Santa.
- Dennis Finch: Elf.
- Nina Van Horn: Finch.
- Dennis Finch: Ouch.
- Nina Van Horn: Weakling.
- Dennis Finch: Old.
- Nina Van Horn: Hey!
- Dennis Finch: Has-been.
- Nina Van Horn: Leaving!
- Dennis Finch: Passé.
- Nina Van Horn: Vodka!
- [leaves]
- Maya Gallo: Finch!
- Dennis Finch: Boobs.
- Maya Gallo: We're gonna make this the best Christmas ever.
- Ray Liotta: You can't make Christmas do anything. All you can do is let it cover you in its warm embrace.
- Maya Gallo: That's beautiful.
- Ray Liotta: It's from a screenplay I wrote called Ray and Santa. It's a buddy movie.
- Nina Van Horn: Will you stop that humming, please? You sound like a faulty vibrator.
- Dennis Finch: I'm writing a Christmas song. Between you and me, I think I found a way to turn this sleepy little holiday into a big time money maker.