Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

Paradise by the Dashboard Light (2000)

Stephen Hibbert: Carl

Quotes 

• Jack Gallo : And I am Jack Gallo, Maya's father.

  Carl : Oh, then I guess I should have brought a pig. You see, I'm a student of world cultures, and in the Solomon Islands it is customary to offer the father a pig. Or two pigs depending on the quality of the woman. I'm sure Maya's a 28-pig woman, but if it doesn't work out, I guess I owe you a goat.

  Nina Van Horn : He's perfect for her.

• Dennis Finch : Question one: You take Maya to a restaurant. The waiter accidentally spills wine on her blouse. What do you do?

  Carl : Apologize for choosing the restaurant, then spill wine on myself as a show of unity.

  Dennis Finch : Question two: You take Maya to a play, but once you get there, you discover there is nudity, but it's tastefully done, story related. What do you do?

  Carl : Apologize for choosing the play, if she decides to stay, I use my body language to make it clear to her that I'm in no way aroused.

  Dennis Finch : What's your favorite Sondheim musical?

  Carl : I'm going to surprise you. Passions.

  Dennis Finch : Okay, we're done here.

  Carl : Can I rethink my answer to the first question?

  Dennis Finch : No.