Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

Let There Be Light (1993)

Jeremy Gittins: Michael the Vicar

Quotes 

• Michael the Vicar : [Discussing Hyacinth]  Where do you go to hide?

  Richard : Well, uh, it... uh, it has to be the bathroom, really. I spend a lot of my time in the bathroom.

  Michael the Vicar : I think I would, too.

  Richard : Of course, I take a book. I mean, to me it's more of a library than a bathroom, really. You know, I've got the only fully-tiled library in town.

• Onslow : I'm glad you're here, Vicar. When you've got a moment, can I have a word with you about exorcising somebody?

  Michael the Vicar : Not...!

  Onslow : No, no, Not her.

• [last lines] 

  Emmet : There you are, Richard! I've only just heard that you've been very busy mending the electrics. How's it going?

  Richard : I'm finished, now.

  Emmet : Hidden talents, eh? You're a dark horse, Richard!

  Richard : Well, you know how it is.

  [grabs the switch] 

  Richard : Now, is everybody ready?

  Michael the Vicar : This is like the switch on in Regent Street at Christmas!

  Onslow : Hang on. Let's do it properly. We ought to have a countdown.

  Emmet : Good idea! Ten...

  Emmet , Onslow , Michael the Vicar : Nine... eight... seven... six... five...!

  [Richard throws the switch and every electrical fixture in the church hall blows up. Daddy evacuates everybody as the front door of the church hall is blasted open, and Hyacinth runs to Richard] 

  Hyacinth : Richard! What's happened?

  Richard : I think I'm better with Christmas tree lights!

• Michael the Vicar : [Hiding from Hyacinth]  Pssst! Where is she?

  the Vicar's wife : I sent her outside to wait for Mrs. Drummond.

  Michael the Vicar : What's Mrs. Drummond ever done to you?