Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

The Commodore (1993)

Patricia Routledge: Hyacinth

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Emmet has broken Hyacinth's china] 

  Emmet : Really, I'm terribly sorry, Hyacinth.

  Hyacinth : Now, please think no more about it, Emmet. These accidents will happen... and always with my china.

  Emmet : I-I'm not usually that clumsy.

  Hyacinth : The only thing that matters is that you've not ruined your musician's hands... just my rug. Anyway, I'm sure the stain will come out... eventually.

• Hyacinth : And you must remember some sea stories, Richard!

  Richard : Why should I know any sea stories?

  Hyacinth : Richard, you are British and the sea is in your blood!

• Hyacinth : [very shrilly]  Vicar! You're heaven sent.

  The Vicar : Oh my Go... ood morning, Mrs Buc... Bouquet.

• Hyacinth : Mind the pedestrian.

  The Vicar : Which pedestrian? Where?

  Hyacinth : On the pavement.

  The Vicar : Isn't that where he's supposed to be?

  Hyacinth : Oh, too late now; he's gone. Lucky you missed him.

• [last lines] 

  [the Commodore is pawing Hyacinth] 

  The Vicar : Are you all right, Mrs Bouquet?

  The Commodore : I'll say she is. Smashing bit of all right. I wouldn't mind being shipwrecked with you, my darling.

  The Vicar : Do you want me to stop the car for you, Mrs Bouquet?

  The Commodore : Can't do that; I'll miss my train, Vicar. Just think of it, the tropic nights, a huge moon.

  Hyacinth : But I, I, I'm, I'm a marry, married woman.

  The Vicar : Doesn't worry me, old girl. Now, give us a kiss.

  Hyacinth : Ooh, lai...

  [yelling] 

  Hyacinth : Aaheeee! Keep driving, Vicar. Keep driving.

• Hyacinth : Take the low road. I shall relay the convolutions of the Commodore's confusions as we go along.

• [first lines] 

  Richard : I know I'm not encouraged to have an enquiring mind, but why are we going to wherever I'm taking you?

  Hyacinth : Mm? Our destination is the Manor House function rooms in Morton Road. I have to see to the arrangements for today's Ladies' Luncheon Club; they rely on me so.

  Richard : Does that mean you won't be at home for lunch?

  Hyacinth : No, of course I won't be at home for lunch, dear. We have a special speaker today. You'll have to manage on your own for once.

  [Richard starts to whistle] 

• The Chairlady : Oh there you are, Mrs Bucket! We wondered what had happened to you.

  Hyacinth : [flustered with embarrassment]  Well...

  The Chairlady : [to the Commodore]  This is the lady who was supposed to pick you up at the station. She volunteered to do so.

  The Commodore : Did she? Bless her! Well, all the nice girls love a sailor!

  Hyacinth : Aye aye, Commodore!

  The Chairlady : Was there some problem?

  Hyacinth : [flustered]  Problem? No, no. Not really. I... uh... I may have been waiting on the wrong platform!