The King of Queens (TV Series)

Gorilla Warfare (2005)

Kevin James: Doug Heffernan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Danny Heffernan : Why can't I find a great girl?

  Doug Heffernan : I could tell you the truth, but it'd feel like a donkey kick.

• Carrie Heffernan : No, Doug, I don't want another line, okay?

  Doug Heffernan : Oh, well, you know what? Too bad, 'cause you're getting one.

  Carrie Heffernan : Well, you better get moving. Blockbuster closes at 10.

  Doug Heffernan : [Carrie starts walking up the stairs]  I don't need Blockbuster. This is gonna be all me. It's gonna be so touching and heartfelt, you're gonna feel like a piece of crap!... A PIECE OF CRAP!

• Doug Heffernan : [erratically caressing his stomach, his wrist watch catches something]  Nipple!