- Carrie Heffernan: Hey, you know our new neighbor Glenn who just moved across the street? He's a marriage counselor.
- Doug Heffernan: Yeah! I'm going to take marriage advice from a guy who jogs in jeans.
- [playing with Carrie's automatic transcription software]
- Arthur Spooner: We have nothing to fear but fear itself... It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... Bosoms!
- Doug Heffernan: I think I know my way around town. I'm a driver, you know.
- Carrie Heffernan: Yes, I know. I'm reminded every time I look at your paycheck.